Complications Throughout Generations

Chapter 38

Levi's POV:

Eren's grave. After 3 years. There were roses in front of it. I could only assume they were from Mikasa and Jean.

"I'll give you a moment." Mikasa said and walked off somewhere far enough where I wouldn't be heard.

I stared at the small stone in the ground. "Fuck you, Jaeger."

"Yikes." He was here again. He was leaning on the tree he was buried under. "You really mean that?"

"Somewhat."

"I know." He sighed. "I'm sorry."

"My mind is in two places right now."

"What are they?" He walked over behind the wheelchair and started to massage my shoulders. "Holy shit Levi, you feel like you're made of bricks."

"Thanks, that's also your fault." He let out an over dramatic sigh but continued. "One part of me is angry with you. You took away so much. I can't walk anymore because of the fucking Titans you let loose on us. I can't see out of one eye because of your piece of shit brother. Killing him was my greatest achievement."

"Oh I know how happy you were when you did that one." I could hear the amusement in his voice.

"And now I feel like I'll never be able to be with anyone. I'll die alone just like I thought I would."

"Because you're a cripple?"

"Because I'll never love anyone the way I love you." He stopped and then walked in front of me. "I never got to tell you." I whispered, staring at my hands sitting in my lap.

"Is that what you meant when you said you had so much to tell me?"

"Yes, you fucking idiot!" I raised my voice. "Of course that's what that means. I loved you then, I love you now. That will never change. No one will take your place. No one will be you. No man or woman could ever fill that hole in my heart." He held my hands in his as he kneeled down to face me more directly.

"Wanna know something?" He asked. I nodded. "I always loved you."

"Well it doesn't really matter now does it." I gripped tightly onto his hands.

"But it does." Even though it was pitch black, I was still able to stare directly into his eyes. I was disappointed that I couldn't see their turquoise color but just seeing them was enough.

"How?"

"Because it's been eating you up for years. How many now? 7? You wanted to tell me before I left everyone. You thought if you told me, it would've changed what was to come."

"Would it have changed something?" He shook his head. "Didn't think so." It was sad to hear that.

"But that's not your fault. That was just me. No one could've stopped me. Not you, not Mikasa, not Armin. None of you."

"You really fucked everyone up, you know that?"

"Yeah." He whispered. "But you know my reasons." He put his hand up to my cheek and started to smile.

"What now?"

"Small head."

"Shut the fuck up, Jaeger."

"You really have a dirty mouth now, huh?" He laughed.

"Well that's what happens when you turn into a bitter, old man who's going to die alone." I rolled my eyes but he could sense the joke in my tone. Keeping his hand on my cheek, specifically the one that wasn't damaged, he started to rub his thumb against it.

"Levi, when I told you I never wanted to see you again. I didn't mean that, I hope you know that. I was just trying to protect you."

"I know." I put my hand over his and rested my head into it. "I'm tired, Eren."

"I know you are, Levi." He reached over and kissed my forehead. "You'll be with me soon."

"I can't do that to everyone. We've already experienced so much loss. I'll die when I die, I can't cut that short by my own hands."

"Hey now, I wasn't suggesting that. But you've got 20 plus years on them, that's what I mean."

"I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about it."

"I know you have."

"Eren, what do you know?"

"Pretty much everything," he shrugged.

Of course he does.

I was tired of talking and looked right back into our eyes. There was a silence between us and a tension growing.

"Eren." I said softly.

"Levi."

"I love you."

"I love you so much."

I leaned closer and felt his lips on mine. I was overwhelmed with the emotion of absolute bliss. I rested my hand on the back of his neck and pulled him closer, deepening the moment. It was passionate and loving, but definitely sloppy. He was pretty good at that unfortunately but I always let it slide. Of course, even now is no different. I pulled away first, trying to catch my breath. I blinked for a millisecond and he was gone. Fuck.

"Levi?" Mikasa was back. That's probably why he left. "Are you okay?" I pinched the bridge of my nose and kept my eyes closed. "He was here, wasn't he." I nod. "What did he say?"

"I'm definitely going crazy."