Complications Throughout Generations

Chapter 184

Eren's POV:

I've been back in school for a few weeks and basketball season was in full swing. A few things have happened in that time. My mom came by the house and took the rest of her things. She also shoved divorce papers in my father's face. I guess she couldn't handle the fact that the two men she lived with were both once mass murderers. Levi can also breathe on his own now. So I guess it's a mix of good and bad. I feel like they're both so extreme that I'm just in the middle of a black hole.

"You look like you're going to kill everyone in this cafeteria right now?" Hange asked. "You sure you're okay?" I hadn't even realized I had that horrifying expression on my face. That look where I want to actually cause some serious destruction. To snap me out of it, Jean flicked my ear.

"I will shove my fist down your throat." I glared at him.

"Jeez, Jaeger. What's got you all riled up?"

"We're going against Lakua tonight."

Zeke's school of course. I have absolutely no clue if he's on the team or not but I know he'll definitely be there. He won't pass up a chance to see me.

"Jesus Christ," Reiner sighed, "Zeke."

"Thank god Levi isn't around to fuck him up." I shot Jean a sharp, angry glance once he opened his damn mouth. "Alright, alright, I'm sorry."

I got up from the table and left the cafeteria. It seems as though my sadness has evolved into anger. I haven't really felt any other emotion unless I'm with Levi. But even then, that anger isn't completely gone. I'm sad he's in the state he's in but angry that he's the one that did this.

I went to the library and sat right where Levi always did; in the very back. I took my notebook out from my backpack and grabbed a pen. I felt compelled to write a note to Levi.

Levi,

I'm sorry. For everything. I can't help but feel like this is all my fault. It's been over a month since it happened and I pray to god that you'll wake up every single day. My biggest fear is that when you do, you're going to tell me you hate me or that you don't want to be with me anymore because I wasn't there. I know I should've been. I know I should've texted you. Something else that's on my mind is that I'm the one that found you. I keep asking myself if you'll be mad at me that I saved you. When you wake up, will you regret it or will you be angry that I didn't let you go through with it. I just wouldn't know what to do without you. I don't even know what to do even now. I visit almost every day. I try and talk to you in hopes that you'll hear it and remember it all when you wake up. I can't lose you. Please don't leave this world. Please don't leave me. I have loved you for so long and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I love you more than anything Levi. Please never forget that.

Eren