Complications Throughout Generations

Chapter 198

Eren's POV:

I was next to Jean in his bed, cuddled into his chest. Nothing went beyond making out. That's all I needed. I felt some guilt but at the same time, Levi just broke up with me and I've craved this feeling for months and I knew that Jean would be the first to give it.

"Can I ask you a serious question?"

"Depends on how serious it is." I answered.

"It's about us." I saw that coming. I nodded. "I know you're going to end up with Levi in the end. Even if you don't think so right now, you will. But do you think you'd ever give us a chance? Maybe not in a serious way...more like...a little more than what we've been."

"You mean friends with benefits?" I knew that's not what he meant but I only said that because I was somewhat trying to avoid what my answer actually is.

He sighed. "I'm sorry, this was really shitty and stupid for me to ask."

"No, no, you're okay. I'm not against it." That was true. I wasn't against it. He's right about Levi though. I think we all know what'll happen in the end but we're young now and we have nothing to lose. "What does it entail in your mind?"

"The basics." Wow, how descriptive.

"What happens when Levi comes back into the picture?"

"Then I'll back off. I'll never make you choose."

Him saying that was strange only because then what's the point? I know I have my reasons but what could his be other than sex? I've known about his very 'under the radar' feelings for me which makes me partially nervous.

"Actually, let's keep this between us." He nodded in agreement. This is more than just Levi. This is Mikasa and Armin too.

"That would probably be the best thing to do." I swirled circles around his chest, mesmerized by how toned it was.

I eventually started to fall asleep with his arm around my waist, pulling me close to him. Somehow I had gotten more used to a bigger body like Jean's rather than a smaller one like Levi's.

"You're really okay with me just kicking you to the curb once Levi wants me back?" I yawned.

"Yeah." He whispered. He sounded sad. "I'd do anything for you, Eren." I really didn't know what to say to that because I'm not so sure I felt the same way.

"I know," was all I managed to say.

"Do you want to go home soon or are you staying the night?" I knew what he wanted but I couldn't. Luckily, I had a good excuse.

"I would but we have school tomorrow." I reached up to kiss his jawline to make it less awkward.

"True." He strained as he sat up. I left the bed, put my shoes on, and grabbed my keys. "Are you coming to my game tomorrow?" Jean is a three sport athlete while I'm only two. He's the pitcher on the baseball team and I must say, he has quite the arm.

"Don't I always?" I smiled.

"True." He walked me to the front door with his hand in mine. "I'll see you tomorrow then." I nodded. He put his hands on my waist and leaned in for a kiss which I happily returned.

"See you tomorrow."

I left and went towards my car. I cannot believe I'm doing this. Giving Jean a chance like this. Not fully but still. Maybe it'll be good for me.

I eventually arrived home and went straight to the kitchen; I was starving. But my dad was at the kitchen table with paperwork. He was clearly stressed out.

"What's that?" I asked.

"Finalizing more things with your mother." He sighed and leaned back in his chair.

"Like what?"

"Custody."

"Over me? How does that even make sense?"

"She wants to have you every other weekend. I'm trying to have full custody so that's not possible...unless you want to see her."

"I don't know." I shook my head, grabbing a bag of pretzels from the pantry as well as a bottle of water from the fridge. "I'm not ready yet honestly."

"And I don't blame you." He stood up from the table and neatly got the papers all together. "How was Jean's?"

"It was good." I shrugged.

"Eren, your ear is red." He crossed his arms. "What happened?"

I groaned. "I'm at war with myself currently."

"Why?"

"Because I just...I need someone right now."

"Well, I'm here." He said as if it was obvious. I know he's always here for me. But it's not in that kind of way.

"I don't mean it like that. I mean, like...I need-"

"Affection?"

"Yeah," I sighed in disapproval of myself. "He's just...he makes me feel things that I don't really understand."

"I think you like the idea of being liked. You're lonely and that's totally understandable."

"I've done enough crying over Levi. I'll let him recover and get better whether it's just for him or for the both of us. I want him to be okay. But I want to be okay too. I want to feel cared for in a way that I've missed for so long."

"Is Levi the only reason you feel at war with yourself?"

I shook my head. "I think Armin and Mikasa are going to be the downfall of my emotions. I mean, Armin can't even be around him for too long. Hell, he's wanted what I just got in 30 seconds. But you know the saying..."

"If they want to, they will." Both of us said simultaneously.

"Jean has always been an interesting one to me. I know he's your best friend but be careful. He likes attention, a lot of it."

"I know but I'm different. He's wanted a chance with me for a while."

"And you think he's going to just let you go the second Levi comes around?"

"I mean...that's what he said." I mumbled. But now that we've said it out loud, I'm not as confident.

"Well, if you believe him then that's what matters." He shrugged. "Just don't get too overwhelmed with this, okay? Just try."

"I know."

I will 100% be overthinking this until I fall asleep tonight.