Complications Throughout Generations

Chapter 173

Levi's POV:

Eren usually walks in around 6:23pm almost every day. Even if he's early, he'll wait outside until 6:23pm because he knows it's a part of my schedule. But it was well past 6:23pm. It was 8:56pm. I haven't called because I'm really hoping something important came up. Maybe something with his parents. But I feel like he would've at least texted me. I eventually gave up and went into the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and shook my head.

Murderer
Loser
Pathetic
Crybaby
Freak
Anorexic
You're no hero
You're no inspiration
You're not fearless
That's why she's gone now
This was your fault
All your fault
You didn't deserve her
You don't deserve him
You've ruined his family
He's going to hate you one day
You'll never be Captain Levi again
He loved Captain Levi, not you
You ruined your family
Pussy
Do you remember your plan?
He's not here, he can't stop you
They're downstairs in the cabinet
Hange and Mikasa will never know
Do it

Do it

Be with your mother
You know how badly you miss her
You want her back
Go get her
Stop being a pussy for once
Do something heroic
Captain Levi would do it for humanity
Be like Captain Levi
Save the people around you
Get rid of yourself
Kill
That's what you are
A killer then and a killer now

Kill yourself

The voices in my head were eating me alive. I punched the mirror with all my might, watching it shatter. I looked at my fist and felt an evil creep down my spine once I stared at the blood dripping from my knuckles. A familiarity I almost missed. I nodded my head and rushed out of my room and down the stairs. Hange was on the couch watching whatever the hell she was watching.

"Hey, Levi. You okay?" She asked, turning around.

"Yeah, I'm just looking for some Advil," I lied, grabbing my prescribed bottle of Zolpidem. Mom took it and put it here since Eren started to sleep over.

"Okay," she sang and turned back to the TV.

I ran back upstairs and closed my door.

Good
You're doing the right thing
Eren will be okay
He'll find someone better
You'll be with mom

The voices were right. They were always right. I went to my bathroom and locked the door just in case. I wanted to get this over with. I stared at my reflection in the shattered mirror and started to cry but also smile. It was finally happening. I'll be free. That's what you always wanted, right Eren? Freedom. I was almost excited and thought I could make sure I didn't wake up. I ripped the blades out of my razor in the shower. Instead of cutting down, I wanted to carve something. I knew just what. I started to make slanted cuts on my left wrist back and forth on the left and right. What would look like random cuts to someone else was the Wings of Freedom to me. Free.

Free
You're almost free

I grabbed the pill bottle and frantically unscrewed it. I dumped them down my throat. I only dry swallowed what I could. The rest I let hit the floor. I thought it would be enough.

I fell to the ground and leaned against the wall with the same smile on my face.

But that smile faded once I finally heard the door open...