Complications Throughout Generations

Chapter 40

Levi's POV:

Eren hasn't shown up since Gabi and I went to visit his grave. That was nearly a month ago. Was that the final thing I needed to do to accept his death after all this time? No, it can't be. Simply because I still can't accept the fact that everyone gets to be happy and not me. I don't get my happy ending with Eren.

Tonight was Mikasa and Jean's typical dinner gathering. Every other Friday at 5pm. It was March 25th. This was another special dinner due to the fact that it was Annie's birthday 3 days prior. But of course, me being the person I am, could only think about how it would be Eren's birthday in 5 days. Gabi and Falco went out earlier this week to buy a present for Annie, they told me they would just say it was from me as well. I wasn't exactly the best when it came to gift giving so I was thankful.

Due to the attention being on Annie, I didn't have my antisocial partner with me. So I was alone. I watched everyone laugh and smile. Instead of being happy, I felt bitter. Angry almost. I looked at Connie and I wish I understood how he seemed so happy even though he didn't have anyone to love, he didn't have Sasha. What was his secret? How come I'm the one struggling with being alone? All I've ever been was alone. I think it was a choice which is why I was okay with it. But now I'm forced to live a life without love and it's suffocating. I hate it. Why did Eren have to die in order to give everyone these happy lives? He did that for them. So where do I fit into all of this?

I stirred the small spoon in my tea given to me by Mikasa. She bought me a special teacup for my birthday last year. I'm still not entirely sure how she even found out about the date but I didn't question it. I told her to keep it in her kitchen for when I come rather than me taking it home. The cup was white with a golden handle along with golden floral designs around it. I drank in peace as I watched the same events take place once the night was near its end. The younger men were drunk, Falco was doing the dishes alone as Gabi was talking to Annie. But then Mikasa took a seat next to me.

"He came to me the other night." She whispered.

My eyes widened. "So that's where he went."

"You haven't seen him?"

"Not since Gabi took me to his grave."

"I'm shocked you finally asked."

"I didn't."

"Oh." She became quiet again.

"What did you guys talk about?"

"He congratulated me, told me he was happy for me, apologized for everything."

"Did he tell you why he finally showed up out of nowhere?"

"He was saying his goodbye...just like last time."

"His goodbye? What do you mean?" I turned to her in a panic. His goodbye? Last time he kissed her and left me with a fucking note. Is this happening again? No...

"I don't know, Levi." She shook her head. I decided not to ask more questions. No use in asking when she clearly doesn't know the answers.

"He didn't...bring me up, did he?" I wanted to have some hope but I knew the answer even before she shook her head.

"I'm sorry, Levi." I want to go home. I turned away from her. I wasn't getting teary eyed, but I just felt anger. Almost as if I got played. Again. "Do you want me to ask one of them to take you home?" I didn't move but my silence was in the answer. She stood up and went to find someone. But me being the stealthy person I still am, I managed to slip away without anyone noticing. The distance wasn't too far. It was dark but I still have one of my legs working. I may be wheelchair bound but that doesn't mean I can't kill someone.  I was rolling my way down the Marleyan streets, enjoying my solitude.

"Levi, wait up!"

Good grief.

"You can go inside, Connie. I'm okay by myself."

He grabbed the handles and started pushing me home.

"I know you are but it's late and you nearly scared the shit out of Mikasa."

"Well that wasn't my intention. I'm shocked you aren't a drunken idiot right about now."

"Eh, wasn't feeling it tonight. So it's your lucky night. Connie and Levi, the dynamic duo." He spread his hand across the sky with a smile.

"Dynamic duo." I scoffed.

"You can be mad at me all you want, but just know I'm incredibly grateful that you saved my life." If it weren't for him, my leg would've been fine. But at the end of the day, his life is much more valuable than my ability to walk. I don't know what I'd do if I lost another one of these brats.

"You know I'm not mad, Connie. I don't know how many times I have to tell you that."

"I know." He laughs. "You can never stay mad at me."

"Trust me, I can."

Lanterns were shining the path for us to follow. We spent our next few moments in silence.

"I'm sure you heard Eren's ghost met with Mikasa." He brought up.

"Yeah." I said deeply.

"He ever come to see you?"

"Used to."

"That happens."

"What do you mean?"

He let out a faint laugh. "Sasha used to visit me back when we were at war. She used to tell me how she misses me and that she's proud of me."

"You don't see her anymore?"

"Last I saw her was once we killed Eren. I miss her every day though. You know I don't tell many people this, but I don't see the harm in telling you."

"What is it?"

"I loved her. I loved her more than anything in this world from the moment I laid eyes on her when we were young. But she was just Sasha. Didn't think too much about love or the idea of being with someone. She just lived life and carried on."

"Do you think anyone will ever replace her?"

"Of course not. But that doesn't mean there isn't someone else out there for me. I know you feel like there's no one else on this planet other than Eren. But Levi, even though you have that insane scar on your face and your eyeball is kinda scary along with the fact that you're stuck in a wheelchair, there's a lot of people who want you."

"Wow, such a wonderful compliment." I rolled my eyes. The kid can never figure out how to just be normal.

"You're Captain Levi! You've killed hundreds of Titan's. You're a total badass."

"Was."

"Still are."

"I'm not."

I heard the wind shift in the air above me. Almost like something was falling. I reached up to grab it. A fucking apple. He definitely stole this from the fruit basket on the dining room table.

"Still are." I could hear the smirk in his voice.

"Whatever." I took a bite of the apple and he let out a small laugh.