Love, Not War (Book 2)

Chapter 27

"Besides," Seonghwa said. "Both of them have suffered. Both of them have taken wrong decisions. Both of them have hurt each other. I don't know the whole story and maybe I can never understand but if Changbin and Hyunjin are sure that Chris deeply regrets it and has changed, I don't see the problem in letting them meet. Don't you think it would be better for him to regain his memories and then make his own decision to either be with Chris or not? It's not our life. It's theirs. I don't see why we should interfere"

But Jeongin didn't agree at all. None of them would understand the pain unless they had experienced it. It was his first near death experience and he never wanted to go through anything like that again.

"I don't want him to remember" He said. "I don't want them to meet. I don't want to see Felix being so obsessed with Chris again. I don't want Chris to hurt Felix"

"And how are you sure he will?" Seonghwa asked. "I trust Changbin and Hyunjin. They've known Chris the longest. If they don't have any problem with it and we also don't, then why should you?"

Jeongin thought the whole argument was ridiculous. There should be no redemption not forgiveness. Everyone should go their own way. Felix didn't need Chan and Jeongin didn't care If Chan needs Felix.

"Jeongin" Jimin called. "Reason this out. Felix is an adult. Just because he's being obedient doesn't mean he won't one day lash out. Everyone has a limit to their patience. If we force him to go back, it will rouse his suspicion and he will know that we are hiding something from him and you know how Felix is. He won't stop until he knows whatever it is. Moreover, we all know that there are a lot of things we're keeping from him. In fact, we have lied to him about his own memories. About his own life and this can't go on forever. What if he one day gets his memories back and know that we've been lying to him? How will he feel? Do you think he will trust us again?"

"But-"

"It's not up to us Jeongin" Seonghwa said, cutting him off. "I won't lie. I don't like the idea of Felix liking Christopher Bang again but I also don't want to cage my little brother. Like Jimin hyung said, Felix is an adult. He has the right to make his own choices. We can't always make them for him. All we have to do is be there for him whenever he needs us. We'll be there to guide him and help him correct his mistakes but we won't interfere. This is also a cruicial part of his growth"

"Felix is also human, Jeongin" Jimin said. "Like we all have rights to choose our partners, he also does and we can't take that away from him. Then again, it's not like we'll all come out and tell Chris that Felix is alive. If Chris manages to get that on his own, then that's that.

Seonghwa nodded. "Felix doesn't remember Chris but he already likes him the very first time they meet. Doesn't that tell you something? "

Jeongin scoffed. Oh it does alright. It tells him that Felix is really stupid for loving Chan so deeply that even without memories, he still feels attached.

"I'm still against this" he said then stood up without finishing his breakfast. He no longer had any appetite. "I'm leaving. If you guys need me, I'll be at the site"

With that, he walked out off the room, thinking, no matter what, he would not let Chan and Felix meet again. Ever. He will surely come up with a way to keep them separated.

********

"I am not going to hunt for some freaking Buddhist priests!" Mingi shouted, slamming the door out of frustration.

Annoyed, Hyunjin kicked Mingi on the shin. "Don't pour your anger on the door. That has Binne's name plate on it"

Mingi bent at the waist and rubbed his shin, groaning in pain. "Must you kick me?" he gritted out. "Fuck that hurts"

Hyunjin huffed, folding his arms. "That's good for you. Next time you won't slam the door. First of all, it has Binnie's name plate on it. What if it fell? Secondly, it's bad manners. But then, I shouldn't have expected better from a ruffian"

That comment earned Hyunjin a hateful glare from Mingi but Hyunjin wasn't perturbed in the slightest. He just scoffed and sashayed his way to Changbin who was sitting on his comfy leather chair. With a smile, he pulled Hyunjin by the waist and made him sit on his lap. "You shouldn't have done that" he whispered against Hyunjin's ear and pinched his waist.

Hyunjin blushed and slapped Changbin's hand away. "He was literally asking for it. Besides, I've always wanted to hit him"

Changbin chuckled the gestured at Mingi to take a seat which Mingi did, still glaring. "So, what are we going to do now? It's obvious that Chris isn't thinking clearly"

"Yeah" Hyunjin mulled. "In all my life, I never thought Chris will one day resort to summoning spirits. Is this how badly he wants Felix?"

"Felix is dead" Mingi deadpanned. "He can never get him back. We have to make him understand that"

"I think he does understand" Changbin said. "If not, he won't make another person look like Felix and date him. There's this thing called 'Ruminating the Loss'. After studying his report, I believe that's what he is doing"

Confused, Mingi asked, "What do you mean?"

Changbin proceeded to explain. "It simply means that Chris is still grieving. Even after five years, he is yet to accept that Felix is gone. He is busy trying to find Felix in everything he does. You see, there are two ways in which people grieve. Healthy grieving and unhealthy grieving. Healthy grieving is when we integrate the loss of our loved ones into our lives. For instance, when we start to do the things they liked doing. Maybe charity or some sport or singing. You know, something to remember them by and actually be happy. Unhealthy grieving on the other hand is when we show signs of depression. We lose interest in all the things we like and feel as if life isn't worth living anymore. It can also lead to suicidal thoughts which I'm very sure Chris used to have, right?"

Mingi reluctantly nodded. Those were times he didn't like thinking about. It took everything in him to bring Chris out of that darkness. "H-He tried. Multiple times"

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