Love, Not War (Book 2)

Chapter 77

"So now that you're all here," Felix said as he gazed at them one by one and stopped on the female doctor. "Including people I don't know, let's start, shall we? What happened to me five years ago?"

Everyone tensed.

Mrs Lee gritted her teeth as she clutched the glass in her hand hard, recalling all the things that went down five years ago.

The downfall of their family, the destruction of their prestige and their love. Exposure to their secrets and her fear when she thought her only son was going to die.

The devastation, and the stinging pain all hit her at once and in seconds, she seemed to look older than she was.

Felix saw the changes on their faces as his mood sank. He might have been acting as if he wasn't worried about the aftermath of learning the truth. As if it wouldn't change anything but Felix knew deep in his gut, that nothing would be the same anymore. He had a feeling he would absolutely despise what they would tell him but he was sick and tired of being in the dark.

He hated having memory gaps. He loathed knowing that everyone around him had been lying to him all this while.

"Why do you all look so tense? It's not like I asked you to sacrifice your life for me or something" he said. "It's just a question. How hard is it for you guys to answer?"

"What brought this up all of a sudden?" Mrs Lee asked, her voice shaky. "You never asked questions about your accident all these years. Why now?"

"Because I now know that there was no accident" Felix answered, glaring at her. "It's something that you just made up. I've recovered some of my memories and they do not correspond with anything you told me. You've all lied to me"

"We had to Felix," Changbin said, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "We had to cover up some things to protect you. It was for your own good"

"Well, I don't need protection right now" Felix argued. "Do you have any idea how crazy you're all driving me? I only want to know the truth about my past. About me and Chan's past. Is that so hard to tell me?"

Hearing the name 'Chan' from Felix's lips made Mrs Lee freeze. She went extremely pale as she stared at Felix in abject horror. "W-What did you say?"

Hyunjin groaned out loud, knowing things would crash before they even got anywhere. He signalled to the doctors to do something before things got out of hand.

Felix frowned, not wanting to speak to her but he still grumbled; "I said you should all tell me the truth"

"N-No" Mrs Lee stuttered, shaking her head. She looked like she had seen a ghost. "Not that. The one before-

Dr Sarias loudly cleared his throat, drawing everyone's attention to himself. "My advice is that we tell Felix what happened to him."

Hearing this, Felix's mood became better and he felt a newfound respect for Dr Sarias. He nodded in satisfaction. "See? Even the doctor gets it"

Seonghwa and Changbin rolled their eyes. Jimin frowned while Hyunjin scoffed.

"Dr Sarias, is there any reason behind your words?" Jimin asked. "I mean, what if we tell him and things go wrong?"

"Well, from our observations," Dr Sarias continued. "He hasn't had any attacks throughout the years he stayed abroad. Felix has been living his life happily and according to him, he has regained some of his memories and yet, he hasn't suffered any attacks. I think he can handle whatever we tell him"

"I agree with Dr Sarias," the female doctor said as she adjusted her glasses. "Felix deserves to know what happened to him. And he seems okay enough to know but what bothers me is," -She turned to Felix- "How much can you remember? What exactly do you remember? How do you feel after getting your memories back? The answers to those questions will determine how much we can tell you"

Dr Sarias hummed and then nodded. "You see, Felix, Dissociative Amnesia is a very tricky thing. It is caused by traumatic events such as war, abuse, accidents, disasters, or whatever can be classified as 'traumatic' to a person and you had gone through quite traumatic events so you lost those segments of your memories. Your brain either hid them or deleted them to relieve you of the pain and stress because you had suffered a lot. If you can tell us what you remember, we'll be able to determine what we can tell you so it doesn't trigger an attack."

Felix stared at the doctors in awe. He never thought things were that serious. He didn't remember having any attacks at all.

"Can you tell us what you remember, Felix?" Seonghwa asked. "You can start from your first year of high school since you couldn't remember anything past that when you woke up from the coma"

Everyone gazed at him expectantly.

"I...uh..." Felix stuttered, not knowing where to start. The memories felt all jumbled in his head and he was starting to feel dizzy. The doctor said he underwent some traumatic events. Why couldn't he remember anyone?

"Before you start, can you tell us if what you remember is mostly good or bad?" the female doctor asked. She took out a pen and a notebook from her bag and gazed at Felix expectantly.

Felix suddenly felt anxious. For some reason, he didn't like her holding the pen and notebook like that. He gripped the knees of his ripped jeans and his face went ashen. "I-I- th-the-"

Dr Sarias noticed so leaned towards the female doctor and then whispered in her ear, "Dr Anna, Felix doesn't like it. I don't think he realises but he's acting exactly the way he used to during our sessions. Just record what he says but keep the book and pen away"

Dr Anna nodded and then returned them to her bag. Felix unknowingly breathed a sigh of relief and his head cleared. "I uh... most of what I remember are good actually. Um, I remember having fun with my friends. You know, being a typical high school teenager. I also remember doing things I'm not proud of"

"Like what?" Dr Sarias asked. He already knew but he wanted to affirm if Felix could remember what started it all. Not Chan but Aera.

Felix's eyes went to his shoes. He wasn't able to look at them for he felt ashamed of his past actions. "Like uh...bullying," he said, his voice soft. "Humiliating people, toying with girls' feelings..."

"Do you remember them?" Dr Anna asked. "The girls I mean. Do you remember any girl in particular? Someone you had a strong connection with"

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