Love, Not War (Book 2)

Chapter 121

Felix read the letter 5 more times, as if he was trying to commit Chan's words to memory. He could feel the love Chan had for him flowing from the paper directly into his fingertips, his veins, etching onto his very skin.

He knew what Chan was suffering from. It was the trauma of his fake death and he went years without treatment. It was bound to affect him, to cloud his judgement and make him act irrationally. It made him develop a deep longing to see Felix, to hold him and reassure himself that Felix was real. It was like dancing between a nightmare and reality, not knowing which one was true. If he didn't get help, he might end up doing things he'd regret.

After witnessing Chan's panic attack, Felix understood completely. He understood why Chan was always so needy, so clingy. If he didn't do something about it, it would get to a time where Felix would not be given any breathing space and that wouldn't be a healthy relationship anymore.

For him, Chan was willing to admit that he was ill and he needed help. He really wanted to be a better person. For him...

"Chan..." Felix whispered once more, letting his tears spill. He didn't understand the past just yet. He didn't get why Chan did what he did but everything would surely be clear with an explanation. What Chan did was downright wrong but maybe if he heard his reasons, he'd be able to understand. Chan was already so remorseful. They had been apart for five years already. Why waste any more time? He quickly picked up his phone from the bedside table and dialled Chan's number but it went straight to voicemail. He then decided to leave Chan a message.

"Chan it's me. Call me when you get my message okay. We need to talk" he paused for a while, thinking whether to say it or not. He didn't want Chan to think he had forgiven him yet. He read the last lines of the letter once more then smiled. It didn't matter anymore. "I...my feelings for you haven't changed okay. Come home."

With that, he ended the call then picked up the necklace and rubbed the oval shaped locket. It was really pretty. It even had Chan's initials behind. It was like a symbol of love. Their love. Like Chan was making a promise to be his forever.

Felix couldn't help but smile. He opened the locket and the picture within made him giggle like a fool. It was a picture of him and Chan, staring at each other with expressions full of love.

He could remember when they took the picture clearly. It was in a hospital when they went to visit Rose after her face was cut. Chan found him alone in an empty corridor and Jeongin, who had already known of their relationship then had found them together. He was the one who took their pictures. He never knew Chan still had them and even put one in a locket. Then, he still had his platinum blonde hair.

He raised his hand and touched his hair which was already back to it's original colour. A deep rich brown and thought if he should dye it again. He did look really good as a blonde.

Wait a minute...

It seemed like he was forgetting a vital information. 

He stared at the picture again and he suddenly remembered. They went to visit Rose in a hospital and her face was brutally scarred!

Who on earth did such a cruel thing to her and why? Felix's heard started to hurt. He closed his eyes and pressed his temples as he groaned in pain. His ears started to buzz and he felt dizzy. A flurry of images flashed through his mind.

Flashback.

"You did this to me!" she cried, digging her nails into Felix's arms. "You and that bitch! That fucking bitch! You two did this to me! Why Felix why?!"

Felix was confused. Who was she talking about? And why was she blaming him? He would never do that to Rose. She was his friend. His precious friend.

"I hate her! I hate her I hate her I hate her!" she shouted. "How I wish she wasn't dead already. I want to kill her! I want to strangle her to death with my bare hands! I want to fucking rip her apart! Give me my face back Felix! Tell your fucking girlfriend to give me back my face! My beautiful face!"

Girlfriend? He tried to calm her down, to understand what she was saying but she didn't give him a chance.

"Don't you dare complete that sentence Felix" she warned. "Don't you dare tell me to calm down. Look at me. Look at my face. See what she did to me. Look at me! This is all because of you Felix. I will never forgive you. If you hadn't brought that wretched girl into our lives, this never would have happened to me. I hate you. I hate you!"

Felix had felt an overwhelming amount of anger. It surged from the bottom of his heart and spread through every part of him. His body was vibrating from the intensity.

"Shut up!" he shouted, pushing her away with so much force that she stumbled back a few times then fell. He stalked towards her and with each step, she shakily shifted backwards till her body touched the wooden part of the bed. "Shut the fuck up" he continued. "You have no fucking right to complain. You have no fucking right to insult her and neither do you have any fucking right to act like a victim. This is karma for you Rose and you deserve every bit of it. Have you forgotten when you cut Aera's face with a shard of glass in the cafeteria two years ago? Have you forgotten the way you insulted her? The way you humiliated and made fun of her? Have you forgotten?"

Her eyes went wide in disbelief. Like she didn't get why Felix was asking her such questions instead of comforting her. He laughed bitterly, shaking his head. "Did you think that you will act mad, say whatever you want to say and gain my sympathy? If it weren't for the things you said now, I would have felt pity for you but now, I see that you don't deserve even that from me. Although I do not support or like what has been done to you, you deserve it. You earned yourself this punishment. Now you know how Aera felt when you did that to her"

"No" she sobbed. Her fingers went into her hair and she began to yank it with all her strength. "No Felix no! I can't accept this! I won't! I won't! T-There has to be some way. I'm your friend. You can't let me live like this for the rest of my life!"

"And Aera?" he snapped. "What about her? If she were still alive, the scar you gave her would have become a permanent tattoo by now!"

"I don't care!" she screamed. "I don't fucking care. I don't care about that wretched lowlife! She's dead already isn't she? Just do something! Mother, Lisa, Jeongin, do something! Give me back my face! My face...my face...my beautiful face...give me back my face.."

She crawled towards him as she spoke, and held his legs, crying and begging him to give her, her face back. "My face Felix...please...my face...I want my face..."

Suddenly, his legs had an added weight and he looked down to find Rose's mother, also crying and begging him.

"Felix please" she pleaded. "I don't fully understand what happened but I know that my daughter is at fault. She's sorry. She's deeply sorry Felix. She should never have offended you. Forgive her for whatever she's saying right now. She can't think straight because of this tragedy. We're sorry but please, help us. Help my daughter. She has been friends with you for years. Help her for my sake and for the sake of your friendship"

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