Love, Not War (Book 2)

Chapter 72

It was almost noon when Felix woke up. He was tired and grumpy. His puffed eyes indicated that he needed more sleep but he didn't want to go back to bed. Dreams of his past haunted him whenever he closed his eyes.

He saw himself crying and begging someone to not leave him but who? An immense feeling of sadness filled his heart when he recalled how vehemently he cried. How disturbed he was. But over what?

He couldn't remember. His dream wasn't clear.

After a long soothing bath, Felix stood in front of the bathroom mirror, staring at his reflection. He pushed back his long wet brown locks, making a mental note to cut them and dye them back to the way they were before. The swelling of his eyes had reduced and colour was back to his face. He looked better and more refreshed than he was when he woke up. Still, he knew that he had a lot to face today.

The truth of his past.

Felix placed a hand on his chest and sighed. There was this sadness that lingered in his heart. He knew it was from his dreams but for him to still feel so, it must be related to what happened five years ago.

He wondered what could cause him so much pain. So much agony that even after waking up, it hadn't faded. It was lingering behind him like a shadow. Just out of reach.

In his dream, he was beside someone's coffin, weeping bitterly. There were red roses surrounding a picture which was placed beside the coffin but he couldn't see the person's face. Did someone close to him die?

It should be Lisa or Rose then. But why did he feel that the person's name started with an 'A'?  And why did he see different hands pulling him away from the coffin while he struggled to stay? How close was that person to him? Could it be Jisung?

But Jisung disappeared...

It wasn't Chan either since Chan is still alive so who was it? Was that person the reason he lost his memories? Could it be that he couldn't handle the person's death and he did something to himself?

But who could arouse such strong feelings from him if not Chan?

He sighed and pushed those thoughts out of his head as he walked out of the bathroom and opened his closet. Those were questions his cousins and friends would have to answer. And if they refused, he still had Jungkook's card. He will find out the truth one way or the other.

He dressed in a pair of casual dark jeans and a baggy white tee then sent a text to Jeongin, asking to meet at their favourite Italian restaurant later in the evening. Luigi's.

It was the place they used to hang out at after classes during high school. He knew the owner of the place very well. Maybe the man would remember him.
After dressing up, Felix opened the door and was shocked to see Chan sitting across his room. He looked exhausted, as if he didn't sleep the entire night.

Seeing that Felix was finally awake, Chan felt relieved and he hurriedly got off the floor. He smiled, seeing that Felix looked better. "You have been inside for a long time. I was worried"

Felix felt warm and happy that Chan cared so much but he just rolled his eyes and walked past Chan, pretending as if he didn't care. Chan didn't mind though. He just followed silently. He knew that Felix was still mad at him but having him this close was enough.

Felix noticed that Chan was dressed in yesterday's clothes and he looked like he hadn't slept in days. His skin was pale and there were bags underneath his eyes. His usually neat self looked so dishevelled. His dark hair was tousled, as if he had been pulling on the poor thick locks for a long time. His clothes were completely wrinkled, totally unlike the Chan he knows.

Felix had a series of questions in mind about Chan's health but he didn't want to ask. He wanted to act as if seeing Chan like that didn't bother him but it did. Very much and it was really hard to ignore. Felix gritted his teeth and forced himself to remain silent but after some minutes, he couldn't take it anymore so he paused in his tracks.

"How come you're still dressed in yesterday's clothes?" He asked this without turning. He knew that if he did, he wouldn't be able to keep up his act. One look at Chan's pitiful state would break him.

Chan stopped right behind Felix, their bodies a little bit close together. He could smell Felix's shampoo. The soft scent of vanilla and it made him want to be even closer. "I didn't go home" he answered.

"Why?" Felix asked. "You could have changed and come back"

"No way," Chan said, moving even closer, until the tip of his nose was touching Felix's hair. His fingers itched to touch Felix but he kept them by his sides forcefully. "You weren't awake yet. How could I leave without seeing you?"

Chan's words made Felix's heart skip a beat. He could feel Chan's breath directly on the back of his neck and it made him shiver. "You should have just left. You stink."

"Really?" Chan asked. A smile crept unto his face for he knew that Felix really cared about him. He raised his hands and hugged Felix from behind, sighing contentedly.  "Do I really stink?"

His face was directly beside Felix's, cheek to cheek. He rubbed a little, finding Felix's skin silky smooth, cool, and wonderful.

A wisp of sandalwood and the ocean breeze flitted into Felix's nose, together with a masculine scent that was purely Chan. It made him want to hug Chan tight and pour out all his grievances and worries about the dreams he kept having.

"Yes, you do. Go back and take a bath" Felix tried to push Chan away but he budge an inch. "Let me go, Chan. I'm still mad at you"

"Forgive me, baby," Chan said as he kissed Felix lightly on the cheek. His lips were dry and chapped, prickling Felix's cheek but Felix felt as if he was branded by Chan. He could still feel the place tingling even after Chan rubbed it with his cheek again.

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