Love, Not War (Book 2)

Chapter 130

"It was like a horror movie Felix." He heard Mingi say. "We were safe and happy during the day but at night, it was terrible. Whenever Mr Williams beat me, Chris would try to protect me but what could a nine-year-old do against a full-grown adult? It was hopeless. Sometimes, Chris would hide in a closet and cry, laden with guilt that as an older brother, he was supposed to keep me safe but he couldn't. I told him it wasn't his fault but he never listened to me. At such a young age, he felt he had a strong responsibility towards me and no matter what I said, it didn't appease him. That's just how he is. It's extremely hard for him to let go."

Felix thought maybe that's why his 'death' affected Chan so much. He must have felt so guilty.

"Some months later, we couldn't take it anymore so we ran away. Mrs Williams was kind to us and she loved us a lot but we couldn't continue to live that way so we went to the streets."

Felix knew that Chan didn't have an easy childhood but he didn't know it was this bad. Just the thought of Chan being hurt made his heartache. He imagined a life without his parents, stuck in an orphanage and then being adopted by a man who was a drunk and a spineless woman. Felix knew he wouldn't survive.

"Did it get better?" he asked. "You know, on the streets?"

Mingi raised a brow. "Better? How can life for two kids on the street be better?"

Felix realised his question was stupid and he lowered his head, not knowing what to say. He didn't know if he could stomach everything.

"We lived a life worse than rats," Mingi said. "At least rats could easily find shelter by hiding in people's homes or sewers. They could eat leftovers or stale food from the garbage. But we? We could hardly find a decent place to sleep or food to eat. People weren't kind to two dirty-looking kids. Even if we begged from morning till night, we barely had enough. We ate only once a day and sometimes, we didn't eat at all. All we had were the clothes on our backs. You don't know what it's like to sleep under a bridge in the bitter cold with an empty stomach, Felix. It was hell."

Felix's heart twinged with pain. As Mingi spoke, he kept imagining little Chan in such situations and he hurt even more. Tears gathered in his eyes but he bit his lip, not wanting to let them fall. Chan and Mingi suffered like that because of his parents. And his mother still had the face to insult Chan.

"Why didn't Chan tell me?" Felix sniffled.

"Why would he?" Mingi asked. "It's not in Chris's nature. Besides, he wouldn't want you to feel guilty for what your parents did."

"Then why are you telling me?" Felix asked.

"Because you need to know his past." He answered. "You need to know why he did what he did to you. Chris will never tell you himself so I will. Maybe it'll help you decide on your relationship."

"But I already want him back" Felix cried. "I want him back. You heard the message, didn't you? I want Chan back. I don't want to waste any more time. I miss him so much."

"But you'll never be able to let go of the past, right, Felix?" Mingi asked.

Felix hesitated, unable to answer the question. To let go of the past...

Mingi scoffed. "I knew it. Even if you get back with Chris, a part of you, no matter how little, will still be bitter about what he did to you. He stripped you of your dignity before the entire world, ruined your parent's reputation and forced you into a situation where you lost your memories and had to play dead to the world. No matter how much you want him back, your relationship will never be the same until you let go of everything."

Felix was frustrated. Who said he couldn't let go? All he needed was a bit more time. Everything would go back to the way it was. He just wanted Chan by his side. He wanted them to start over.

But then, seeing that side of him on camera, the side that he had only ever shown to Chan, to think it was seen by millions of people worldwide, could he really let it go? Could he forget everything Chan had done to him?

"You can," Mingi said as if he heard his thoughts. "You can start over, Felix. I know you love Chris just as much as he loves you. That's why I'm telling you everything. You have to know what truly happened. I know there's nothing that can justify what Chris- no, what we did to you but maybe what I'm going to tell you will give you some sort of closure. I don't know. I just...I just want to help."

Felix nodded. He also wanted to know about Chan's past. He wanted to hear everything.

"Chris and I, we did so many things to survive," Mingi said. "We picked pockets and stole food, money, and clothes. Sometimes we did menial jobs like mowing lawns or taking out trash and we'd be given leftovers as rewards. Other times, we'd break into houses and raid their kitchens. It all depended on how hungry we were. Over time, we got a few scraps and built a small shed in the slums and that's how we lived for two years. Then one day, Chris came home and told me we were moving. I was shocked. He told me that life was going to be better for both of us. And it did. Turned out he got hired by some gangster and we were given food and shelter in return for Chris's services while all I had to do was clean the house, do the laundry and help out in the kitchen."

Mingi paused and gazed Felix right in the eyes. "Can you guess what Chris's services were?"

Felix shook his head. "What did he do?"

"He sold drugs for the gang," Mingi answered and Felix's eyes went wide in shock. Selling drugs? At that age?

To say Felix was shocked was an understatement. He was completely gobsmacked. He had never once thought that Chan would have gone through so much. He clutched the edge of his shirt tight, breathing heavily.

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