Love, Not War (Book 2)

Chapter 41

'And I'm glad you hit me with the door' Chan thought. 'It's the only reason I'm here right now, beside you, touching you'

Still, the fact that Felix couldn't remember him stung like hell. He felt as if he was acting. It was even more painful than anything else. He found Felix just to find out that to Felix, he never existed. Everything they had shared, the things they had done, were totally erased. Like resetting a computer.

Chan knew that if Felix hadn't lost his memories, he wouldn't be beside him right now but that was better to Chan. He preferred Felix hating him and distancing himself than acting like he was a complete stranger. He wanted to apologise and beg for forgiveness but he couldn't do that because Felix had no memories of them whatsoever. It really hurt. He didn't like this clean slate but he would make do. As long as he gets Felix to love him again.

Dinner started and the whole setting felt awkward except for Chan and Felix who were conversing as if they had known each other for a long time.

Changbin was quite happy with his work. He had never seen Felix talk so enthusiastically in all the five years they spent together. This Felix that was around Chan was much like the teenage Felix they knew. Full of life, sunny and bright. They could see hints of the old him, the party guy, the little brat but this time, he was a lovable little brat. He chatted happily as they ate, telling Chan about his time in America and Chan gave him all his attention, as if there was nobody else in the room. In Chan's eyes, Felix was the only one.

Seonghwa and Jimin were quite annoyed. Even when they put in some words so they could join the conversation, Chan steered it right back to Felix, blatantly showing that he wasn't interested.

Jeongin on the other hand was fuming so much he couldn't even eat well. He didn't understand why everyone let Chan do as he pleased. If it were up to him, he would never let Chan and Felix meet.

As for Hyunjin, after seeing Chan and Felix's interaction, he felt that it wasn't too bad so he cut back on the glares, letting Changbin eat his food peacefully.

And JJ was half eating and half playing with his food.

Chan added a few more pieces of meat to Felix's plate and Felix huffed. "Are you trying to make me fat? You've piled my plate high with food"

It made Chan laugh and he pinched Felix's cheek. 'I wish I could set You on my lap and feed you. Just like old times' is what he wanted to say. Instead, his next words were, "You could use a little fat. You're too skinny"

Seonghwa and Jimin glared at Chan. Did he mean they weren't feeding Felix enough?

"I think Felix is just right" Jeongin snapped. "Don't insult him"

"Dude back off" Felix replied before Chan could speak. "Couldn't you tell that it was just a joke? I've noticed the way you've been glaring at him. Man you've been out for him since we stepped into this room. What's your problem?"

Being called out like that made Jeongin furious. He stood up and banged the table. "My problem!? My problem is him! This man you're laughing and talking with as if he's your long lost friend! And you know what, he shouldn't be just my problem. He should be everyone's problem in this room. Everyone's fucking problem! How can you all sit in this place watching them like this? After all he has done?"

They all groaned. They should have known Jeongin would create a scene. Felix was so confused. He couldn't understand why Jeongin was so angry. And as for Chan, he didn't say a word. Sure he was low-key boiling and in a different circumstance, he would have put Jeongin in his place but he didn't want to leave a bad impression on Felix so he swallowed his anger and feigned indifference.

Jeongin pointed at Chan, eyes spitting venom. "This man beside you Felix, this man is a parasite! I fucking hate him as should you! Stay away from him. I can't watch him hurt you all over again!"

"Dude, what the hell are you talking about?" Felix asked.

But before Jeongin could answer, Chan stood up and spoke, "I won't"

Jeongin scoffed. "You won't? How do we know that this isn't some fucking plan of yours? Just like last time? Huh?"

"It's not a plan Jeongin" Chan replied firmly. "And I will prove it. You just need to trust me"

"Trust you?" Jeongin asked like he couldn't even fanthom the word. "Trust and you can't be put in the same sentence okay. If you want trust, you're going to have to earn it but before that, I will never support this and I'm tired of all you pretending to be okay with it"

With that, Jeongin carried JJ and they left the room. 

"I don't understand a thing he just talked about" Felix said, looking at Chan for answers. "Did you do something to him? Did you betray him?"

Chan wanted to say, 'No. I betrayed you'

But thankfully, Hyunjin came to the rescue. "Jeongin and Chris had some issues in the past. He hasn't gotten over it yet"

"What kind of issues?" Felix asked. "Jeongin just said that he can't watch me get hurt all over again. When did I get hurt in the first place?"

"I guess he meant what Chris did to you in the hospital. The way he freaked you out" Changbin said. "As for the other stuff, you'll have to ask Jeongin himself"

"But what about the part he said was a plan?" This question Felix asked was directed to Chan. "He said this could be all part of your plan. What plan was he talking about?"

Chan didn't want to lie to Felix. He wished he could tell him everything but then, he was afraid that what Changbin feared might come true. What if Felix remembers and it all backfires? What if he loses his sanity entirely?

Chan didn't want that to happen. He scooted closer to Felix and hesistantly took Felix's hand in his. When Felix didn't pull away, Chan became bolder and covered the hand with both his and gazed Felix straight in the eye. "Jeongin was involved in the death of my sister five years ago"

Felix's eyes widened and he gasped.

Everyone tensed. What Chan going to tell Felix the truth already?

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