Love, Not War (Book 2)

Chapter 36

Changbin nodded. "He has what is called Dissociative Amnesia. It is a condition in which a person cannot remember important information about their life. It may be limited to specific areas or part of the person's life history or even identity. Most patients forget memories that cause them pain or stress or they forget memories that could endanger their lives. For Felix, you and Aera caused him the most pain and memories about you two made him mentally unstable so his brain blocked them out, enabling him to live a normal happy life. This change can either be temporary or permanent. In Felix's case, I think it could be permanent because it's been five years but he hasn't remembered a thing"

The food became odourless and tasteless once again for Chan. The appetite he had built up completely diminished and he dropped his chopsticks on his bowl. The news was a crushing blow to his heart. He never thought Felix would suffer from amnesia. He never though his memories with Felix would be so painful that they would hurt him and cause his brain to erase them permanently.

Chan felt like he had accomplished nothing at all. It was a whole lot worse knowing that the person you love doesn't remember you. Your memmories together give him nothing but pain. To the extent that they could make him mentally unstable. Chan suddenly felt like he couldn't breathe.

"Chris, are you okay?" Mingi asked, noticing the change in Chan. His face had gone deathly pale and his entire body was shaking. "Chris?"

"I need time" he said as he stood up, ignoring Mingi's question. "I still want to know everything but I need time to take this in"

They watched him take shaky steps towards the door. His shoulders sagged and he walked as if he had the entire world's problems over his head.

Chan's brain was still reeling with fact that Felix could not remember and it could be permanent.

In five years, five long years, Felix didn't remember him at all.

All their memories, the moments they shared, were non-existent for him. As if he never lived them. As if they never happened. Overexhausted from the day's activities and also stressed from the new information, Chan's vision blurred and he slumped to the floor.

********

"What are you doing here" Chan asked, glaring at the person he least wanted to see.

After he had passed out yesterday, his friends took him to a hospital. The Seos hospital to be exact and also, the private ward he was previously in. He hadn't exactly been discharged from the hospital so he was put in the room again.

Chan was in a sitting position on the bed but was leaning his back against a pillow. His head was wound right with bandages and he was dressed in a pair of black pants and black shirt. There was an IV drip connected to the vein on his right hand and on his left hand was the TV remote but he wasn't watching. The news currently airing just served as a background noise to him.

He head was full of thoughts on Felix's condition when the door opened and in walked someone Chan had not seen for over a year.

"To see you" Beomgyu said innocently, walking forward with a small basket. "I recently came to town and I heard that you were involved in an accident and was hospitalised so I came to visit. How are you? Are you okay?"

Chan didn't reply. Instead, he took in Beomgyu's appearance. The boy had dyed his hair platinum blonde, just like Felix used to. He was dressed in a pair of denim pants and a baggy white shirt which was too wide for him at the neck and had slumped down to reveal a white collar and smooth shoulder. Chan tsked and took his eyes away.

It was just a glance but Chan had already seen Beomgyu's intentions. Too bad for the boy. Felix was already back and now, Chan was into brown hair because that was what Felix wanted.

Besides, after telling Taehyun that he loves Felix at the police station, he had already made up his mind to break up with Taehyun and not to be with anyone else till he died. He was just lucky to find out that Felix was alive.

"Thanks" Chan finally spoke. "You've seen me. Now you can leave"

Taken aback, Beomgyu momentarily forgot what he had planned to say. His eyes were slightly open in shock. This wasn't how he had planned for things to go. Chan was supposed to see his blonde hair and go crazy especially with the fact that he and Taehyun had broken up and Chan had no one else to play pretend with.

"Oh, uh...I-I guess I'll leave this here" he stuttered, placing the basket on the table beside Chan. "It's rice porridge. Please have it while it's still hot"

"Take it with you" Chan quickly said. He didn't want anything from someone who had insulted Felix and now has bad intentions for him. "I don't want anything from you. Take it and leave. Now"

Beomgyu felt like he was hit with a brick. Why was Chan so cold? This wasn't part of his calculations. He stared at Chan, stunned.

Chan was already annoyed. Beomgyu's mere presence infuriated him. "Are you deaf? I said take it and leave"

"Chris..." Beomgyu called, feeling complicated. He forced tears to his eyes and feingned a heartbroken expression so that Chan could pity him. He moved closer to Chan and tried to hold his hand but Chan shifted away from him.

"What are you trying to do?" he sneered, glaring at Beomgyu like he was the most disgusting thing on earth. "Will you leave or should I throw you out myself?"

The horrid night when Chan broke up with him flashed in his mind. He had just found out about Felix and confronted Chan. Chan didn't hide the truth. Instead, he told Beomgyu about his feelings for Felix but Beomgyu was enraged. He called Felix all sorts of censored names and made Chan furious. In the end, Chan literally threw him out of the villa.

He shuddered at the memory and quickly picked up his basket then smiled at Chan awkwardly. "Get well soon Chris" he said then hurriedly went out of the room.

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