Love, Not War (Book 2)

Chapter 37

After his departure, Chan sighed, wandering what he was thinking when he decided to be with Beomgyu. The guy was as cunning as a fox. He could do anything to get what he wants.

Chan thought of Felix and quickly shooed Beomgyu out of his mind. He would never let Beomgyu get near Felix. Ever.

Speaking of that, Changbin knocked softly on the door then twisted the knob and walked in with a nurse. He was dressed in a pair of black suit pants and a blue and white stripped shirt. Over the shirt was a crisp white lab coat and looped around his neck was a stethoscope. He was wearing his glasses and his short chestnut brown hair was gelled back, revealing a wrinkleless forehead.

"Hey Chris" he greeted with a smile. "Glad to see you're awake. You've slept for 18 hours. Have you had lunch yet?"

Chan shook his head. "Mingi went to get lunch"

Changbin nodded and began to check his vitals. "Does your head still hurt?"

"A little" Chan answered. "When will I get to see Felix?"

At that, Changbin paused a bit then continued. He told the nurse to jot down some things in Chan's file as he did his work.

"Answer me" Chan said, feeling really impatient. "I've thought about it okay. And although it hurts that he has forgotten me, I completely understand but I still love him Changbin. I want to see him. I want to tell him the truth and remind him of our love"

"You mean his pain" Changbin cut in with a frown. "Everything was painful for him Chris. Loving you was a terrible experience for him and he nearly died because of you"

Hearing that, Chan went silent. He lowered his head and balled his fists tight as he recalled Felix's blodless face that night. "I know" he whispered. "But I'm sorry. I deeply regret what I did Changbin. I want to right my wrongs. I want to him to love me again. I want to give him all the happiness in the world"

Changbin sighed. "If that's what you really want, then you can't tell him the truth. You can't tell him anything about both of you. What if he remembers and everything backfires?"

Chan had thought of that but he couldn't bear lying to Felix. He had lied enough. "But what if we don't tell him and he still remembers? He'll hate you guys for lying to him and he'll hate me even more for getting close to him again after everything that I've done. I won't be able to take it. It's bad enough that he sees me as a stranger. It'll be worse if I court him and he regains his memories. He'll despise me"

Changbin was done and he gestured for the nurse to leave. She gave Chan a pitiful look then left. Rich people and their love issues. After the nurse left, Changbin placed his stethoscope on the nearby table and sat on a chair close to Chan's bed. He crossed his legs and asked, "Isn't that what you deserve Chris? For Felix to loathe your very existence? If I were Felix, I would not even want to breathe the same air as you. Do you even realise how big your offense is? He nearly lost his life"

"I know" Chan said calmly but his eyes were already red and tears had gathered within. "I know"

His second sentence came out broken and choked. Changbin decided to back down a little. Hyunjin had told him to be very strict but he felt as if it was too much. Afterall, Chan hadn't been enjoying his life these five years. The death of Felix had haunted him every single second of everyday. Chan had lost a lot of weight and the only thing working well was his brain when it came to business matters. He mentally and physically totured himself and Changbin couldn't bear to see his formerly strong untouchable friend like this. He wanted the his friend back.

Five years had taught him Chan a very painful lesson. No. Even just that moment he had heard of Felix's death had taught him. The indescribable pain he felt, he could never forget. Everyday since that night had been complete nightmares.

"Nothing I do can erase that sin" Chan spoke. A single tear ran down his right cheek. "But I want to try. I want to properly pursue him Changbin. I want to properly love him. I want everything to be normal. No hidden motives, no pain, nothing. I just want to make him happy"

Changbin leaned back and sighed. "And if being with someone else makes him happy?"

Chan's eyes widened as he had never thought of that but then they gradually dimmed. "Then so be it" he answered. "I'll back off"

'And go die somewhere' he finished in his mind.

Changbin was surprised to hear that answer. The greatest thing you could do for a person you love was to let them go. Especially when they do not reciprocate your love. "Y-You really mean that?" he asked, shocked.

Chan nodded. "I can't force him to be with me Changbin. That won't be real love. I won't be able to bear the fact that he's with me but loves someone else. I'll let him go"

Changbin had nothing to say anymore. If Chan understood this fact then everything would be alright. "Okay enough of the heavy stuff. You have my blessings. How about I schedule dinner with the Parks tonight?"

Chan suddenly sat upright, shock plastered on his face. "R-Really? You'd do that?"

"Of course" Changbin said with a smile. "Let me call Felix. I'll put the phone on speaker. You'd like to hear his voice right?"

Speechless due to his friend's generousity, Chan could only nod repeatedly. He couldn't believe Changbin was willing to help him.

As Changbin scrolled through his contact list for Felix's number, he said, "I'm helping you this much because you sought our permission Chris. The you I know would have barged into the Parks residence and wreaked havoc but you didn't do that which shows your respect for Felix and us, your friends. I appreciate that and considering the fact that you really love Felix, I'm on your side. Honestly, I think there's no better match for him than you"

Chan's heart warmed and he let out a small but grateful smile. "Thank you"

He found Felix's number and dialled, putting the phone on speaker mode. It didn't take long for Felix to answer.

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