Love, Not War (Book 2)

Chapter 88

Jeongin raised a brow. "You can't remember? Out of everything I said just now, nothing jogged your memory"

Felix shook his head. "I can't recall anything. I tried but I can't even remember what she looks like. All I see is nothing"

Jeongin nodded then continued. Maybe it was better that Felix didn't remember. After all, he went crazy after everything.

"She was furious of course. She thought it was you who did it but you weren't the one. You would never do that to her but she didn't believe you. She slapped you in front of the entire school and broke up with you, saying she never wanted to see your face again"

Felix winced and his hand went to his chest. He rubbed it a bit, for he felt uncomfortable. Although he couldn't remember anything, his heart ached. As if it was reminding him of the pain he felt then. "B-But how could she believe that it was me?" he mumbled. "I would never do that to my girlfriend or any girl for that matter"

Jeongin scoffed. "The former you can. That's why she thought you did it. Dude, we were complete assholes"

"Ugh. I get it I get it. Continue" Felix groaned.

Jeongin took a swig of his drink. "Look, the thing was before that video came out, Aera was a virgin. The only person she had ever slept with was you and the night after you guys had sex, the video was released. Of course she would think it was you. You tried to convince her that you didn't do it but she didn't listen. As for me, Lisa, Rose, and Jennie, we didn't know all of that until after her death. We thought she was just a slut who didn't appreciate her boyfriend and opened her legs to another. We made her life hell Felix. Not just us but the entire school. Everyone looked down on her, called her names, bullied her. Fuck that girl suffered both mentally and physically. I uploaded her video on many porn sites. I shamed her, insulted her, tormented her every single day in school. I-I- I-"

He couldn't go any further. He couldn't say it. It was a secret he kept to himself. One he wanted to take to his grave no matter what. As far as Chan doesn't expose him, he would never expose himself.

"I was a monster, Felix" he said, letting out a deep breath. "We were monsters."

The things he said were just a tip of the iceberg. If Felix could remember the horrible things he did to other girls, maybe they wouldn't be friends anymore. Jeongin didn't want to lose Felix. Lisa and Rose were dead. Jisung was nowhere to be found. All he had was Felix.

Felix couldn't believe his ears. He couldn't understand why his friends would do such things. Fine he knew they used to be insufferable brats back in middle school. After all, he was exactly like them. He knew they had no respect for the poor and they did whatever they liked, not caring about the consequences but he had no idea that his friends had gone so far. So far as to cost a girl her life.

"When all that was happening, what did I do?" he asked. Although he asked, he was scared of what he would hear. "Since I loved her so much, I must have protected her right? I-I must have done something. Anything. What about my parents?" He reached out and held Jeongin's hand tight. "Jeongin, tell me I didn't join you guys. I helped her right?"

Jeongin winced in slight pain for Felix was gripping his hand tight. He could literally feel the desperation oozing out of Felix. "Well, if you had succeeded in helping her, she would have been alive by now"

Felix's grip slacked and he went deathly pale. He couldn't believe it. Was he that useless as a boyfriend? Did he even care about her feelings?

"Shit I didn't mean it like that man." Jeongin cursed, rubbing his face. "It must be the alcohol"

"Well drunken words are always the truth aren't they?" Felix said, smiling bitterly. "I claimed to love someone and I couldn't even protect that person. How can Chan love me? No wonder he used me for revenge. I don't deserve to be loved."

"Dude don't say that. I told you it came out wrong." Jeongin said. "You did your best to protect her you know. You did everything a rich teenager could. You used your parents influence to take down the videos from the internet and you tried to be with her no matter how many times she pushed you away. You tried to help her but she didn't want it. She rejected you each time but you never stopped caring for her. You never stopped trying. You didn't know how to fight so you hired people to beat up anyone that said anything bad about her but at the end of the day, Felix, you can't control everyone. There were people who still did what they wanted to her. Like Rose, Jennie, Lisa and me. We did things behind your back. You couldn't handle us all."

Angry and frustrated, Felix bit his lip, trying not to cry. "What about Jisung? What did he do?"

"He was with you every step of the way" Jeongin answered. "He tried to help you get Aera back and at some point, it worked."

Hearing that, Felix's complexion became better. "She believed that I didn't do it right?"

Jeongin nodded. "Due to your constant efforts, Aera started to be less hostile to you. She talked to you and allowed you to walk her home everyday after school. I think she started to believe that you truly loved her but one day, all of a sudden, she came to the field during P.E with a knife and approached you"

"Oh my God" Felix gasped. "D-Don't tell me she-"

"She blamed you for everything that happened to her Felix" he said. "She told you that she would never forgive you then raised the knife and slit her own throat. Right in front of us all"

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