Make me Better ~Eddie Munson x Reader~

27. Going back in time

{Y/N's POV}

My legs were shaking as I sat on the stool of the table, gulping down my glass of water but all I wanted was alcohol. I needed to calm down. After the kiss, we just walked out of the room as if nothing happened and went back to our group and sat down. He was on the other end, chatting with Gareth and Steve and I was next to Nancy and Robin. He hasn't looked at me since. Was this a bad idea in the end? I gulped and tried to focus on what Robin was saying but I just feel out of place. Everyone was talking about old doings, memories or parties, things I wasn't included in, and I didn't know how to pop into conversation. At this very moment, I wished the girls had someone else to drive them so I could go home. The nerves in my belly were killing me, anxiety building up each second it passed, and I just need to get out. I got up from my stool and Robin looked at me.

"Where are you going?" She asked and I looked at her and motioned towards the restrooms.

"To the bathroom!" I yelled over the music and grabbed my bag. I noticed Eddie glance up at me slightly as I moved and then look back at Steve. I sighed and went into the restroom, which had graffiti all over it and I slapped my cheeks trying to wake up from whatever dream I was experiencing. At first I was happy the girls included me in the group, but now, no one had struck a single conversation with me, and I just want to leave, but hope doesn't let me leave. If Eddie had kissed me once tonight, he might do it again. Right?... I felt my heart beat wildly into my chest and opened my bag, looking for my gloss. I finally found it and reapplied some on my lips and then doing a kiss motion to rub the tint together. I put the gloss back into my bag and took a deep breath in, before walking out again. 

I saw Gareth getting up and going outside as he held a pack of cigarettes in his hand. I had to choose in between going back to the table, or at least go and talk to one person before going back there. I chose the latter. I passed by the table and followed Gareth outside, already seeing him holding a cigarette in his lips. "Care to share?" I asked him, startling him and I am not a smoker, but I do know it calms my nerves down greatly, even if the taste is disgusting.

"Didn't take you for a smoker Y/L/N." He mentioned as he shook the pack, making a stick come out of it's edge. I grabbed it and put it on my lips. He put the lighter up and I leaned over, taking in a deep breath of smoke as it lit up and I pulled back, exhaling the smoke out of my lungs. I sighed and looked up at the sky.

"I don't. I just wanted a smoke." I replied to him and we went into complete silence. Okay, maybe this wasn't the best idea, but I had to make conversation instead of replying coldly, but he beat me to it.

"The guitar..." I looked at him. "It's great. It sounds amazing." He tells her and she smiles at him, giving a nod.

"Yeah. I spent a good hour trying to remember the goddamn name he mentioned once." I told him, and I actually did. I kept going over and over and over the names of the guitars and the brands, and the vendor wouldn't stop pestering me telling me they could help me. How can they help me when I don't even remember the first letter?

"A good hour? Damn, you must have felt bad, huh." He said to me as he took in a deep smoke and I nodded, making him look at me in bewilderment

"I did..." I said shortly and took a smoke as well as I still looked down to the dirt. Gareth was staring at me and he was about to continue talking but a tap on the shoulder made him look up.

"Oh, hi Eddie." My body froze. I blinked and I knew I was blushing already. God damn, what the fuck did Eddie Munson do to my body? I was repulsed by him two months ago, now I want him to continue where we left before.

"Gareth." He says in a cool tone and Gareth finishes his cigarette quickly in two puffs and I swear I almost heard him choke.

"I'll go back inside." He says to us as I hear a lighter click and Eddie finally stands next to me. Silence engulfs us and why is this so awkward now? Should I talk first, should I talk later?