Make me Better ~Eddie Munson x Reader~

61. Fire's warmth

{Eddie's POV}

I got an F at O'Donnell's class.

I swear that she is out to get me, but it is true I ditched her class many times ever since I broke up with Y/N. My mental health was playing bad moves on me, and where I stand with her at this very moment was not good either. Ever since the kiss, I realized it is dangerous to be near her. I just want to be with her, I want to kiss her, and hug her, and spend time with her, but that stupid fucking feeling is not letting me do so. I don't want to raise her hopes up, I really don't, so I need to put distance between us... But still it hurts me that she is separated from me. She doesn't eat lunch with us, and I had to explain to the boys over and over that it is my fault, that is not because she doesn't want to, I think.

Either way, she seems busy nowadays, probably focusing on school stuff. She never spoke to me again after that party either, but I am guessing she felt hurt, or uncomfortable and decided to give me that space, even if I didn't want it. It's so fucking complicated.

"Eddie, if you fail again, you'll—" Steve said as I smoked a cigarette at his pool.

"I know; I know..." I said with a wave of the hand and he sighed as he prepared the woods for the bonfire night. He had a small rock pit with some logs around it, right behind his pool, more into the woods, and we decided to have some snacks together, with everyone else.

"Just focus on that subject only man, the rest you are actually nailing it." It was true. The other subjects I was in, I was passing with C's, some were D's, but O'Donnell is out to get me. She fucking hates me. I also know the reason I've been doing good at school nowadays... I just felt like going. I got to see my friends, no one bullied us ever again, or made our lives miserable... In a way, even if what she did was wrong, I have to thank her for putting an end to those days.

"I know; I will try harder next time... It's just..." And I stopped talking as I smoked on my cigarette again and he sat down next to me with the axe in his hand.

"Y/N." And I held my breath in and slowly nodded at him. "Eddie... I mean, why not just be with her? I mean, you are clearly in love with her—" And I cut him off right then and there.

"Hold on, hold on... I am not in love with her. We barely dated." I explained to him, feeling sort of attacked at his comment. He frowned at me, and by the looks of it, he was confused.

"Dude, are you serious? I don't fucking buy you both didn't fall in love with eachother." I groaned at him, and my heart was beating into my ears with this topic of conversation.

"If she did what she did to me, she clearly wasn't, ISN'T, in love with me." I corrected him and he shook his head at me, making me frown.

"You're a fucking idiot Munson... She had a reputation to maintain, and I know that sounds stupid to you, but for someone of her class, and her college choice, it means a lot. If she had gotten kicked out of the cheerleading team, her college application would have gone from a 90 point to a 40, no matter what career she chose to pursue." And I knew that. I knew that perfectly well, but it was still wrongly done.

"She could of told me as soon as we started dating, and I would have believed her right then and there. I don't know if I wouldn't have gotten mad, but I bet you my guitar that we would still be together today." And at that Steve closed his mouth for a second, agreeing with my point of view. I felt my chest burning and I wanted to drop this conversation as soon as possible.

"I get you, trust me, but you clearly want to be with her. She has proven with actions and words that everything she feels for you, and everything she did is real... What more do you want?" He asked me and I was left speechless. I don't know. I don't know what I want from her, I don't know how to get that trust back, and I don't know when it will happen... I don't know. "Look... At least, stop ignoring her. Talk to her as a friend." And I gulped at that. I tried to do that, and I ended up kissing her... Well, she kissed me, but I returned it. I was about to reply to him and I heard rustling from behind me, making us turn our heads to see Jeff, Gareth and Dustin walking over from the side of the house with a few bags on their hands.