Make me Better ~Eddie Munson x Reader~

74. Love is unpredictable

{Eddie's POV}

One day.

Two days.

Three days.

Four days.

Spring break was already half way done, and all I've done is stay in bed, eating pretzels, drinking beer, smoke a joint every now and then, and sleep.

I fucked up. I royally fucked up. She was right with everything she said to me. I only cared for myself, and if I had just looked at her, and how she felt, and how I made her feel through these past few months, this probably wouldn't have happened. My heart just hurts when I remember her yelling, her crying... All because of what I did, and because of who I was.

I was instructed by Wayne to just keep my head down. That if I didn't know what to say, to not even dare talking to her. He was protecting her, I understand that. I never received a worse scolding from Wayne than how he yelled at me that day.

-

"What did you do boy?" Wayne stood in front of me with his hands on his hips as he looked down on me. I was sitting in the couch, my nose red from blowing it against a tissue, my eyes bloodshot from the tears that slipped through them. Y/N had left in the morning, and it was now 8 PM... and Wayne hang up the phone with Laura just now.

"I... I fucked it up Wayne..." He ran his hand through his face, starting to pace slowly on the living room. From what I heard, Laura didn't break up with Wayne for what I did, and I was glad by that, but my uncle was trying to control his breath as he tried to find the words to talk to me.

"You think?" He asked me, turning to face me again, a pained look in his eyes, making my insides turn with guilt. "That girl... That poor girl... You played with her feelings Eddie." I shook my head, looking down at the floor.

"No, I didn't!" I snapped out at him. "I like her Wayne! I want her! I seriously fucking do, and I've been trying to make it work, and I just cannot open myself to her again! I tried!" I stomped on the floor, running my hands through my hair. I cannot even begin to explain how I feel right now. There's a throb in my chest and my throat, as if I want to say something, but I can't.

"How can you possibly say something like YOU TRIED? You slept with her, and then basically fucking threw her out of the trailer Edward! How do you think the poor girl feels?" My stomach turned hearing that, running my hands through my hair, nervousness all over my body as my leg bounced up and down. I fucked up. I seriously fucked everything up.

"I didn't mean to do that! Uncle, I was intoxicated last night, and I acted out of... Shit..." Jealousy. I acted out of pure jealousy and possessiveness. I was a bastard and every single word she threw at me, I deserved it. I deserved her slap, her harsh words, but god... I can't get her stained face out of my head. The look of pain in her eyes and I was the cause of it.

"I am sure I raised you better than this..." I looked up at him and his eyes showed disappointment and sadness as he scratched the back of his neck. "She was destroyed Eddie... I'm terribly disappointed in you." My heart broke even more at that. I don't' even want to imagine her crying because of me, because I cannot believe myself. I can't swallow the fact I hurt her so much, in just a couple of hours. I was the broken one. I was the one that needed to be fixed, and all this time I made her feel like an insect. I made her feel so little. Think so badly of herself. I didn't notice it, but a tear had slipped out of my left eye and Wayne's face softened, leaning down and sitting next to me. "Son..."

"I can't fix it... I can't..." I shook my head at him and he sighed, putting a hand on my back in order to try to calm my nerves down.

"I don't think this has to do with trust issues... Eddie, you are worth of love. You have every right to feel love." I stared at him for a few seconds, and memories started flashing through my mind, memories from my childhood, the lump in my throat becoming bigger, feeling my eyes burn and I shook my head at him and stood up abruptly, panic setting in my gut.