Make me Better ~Eddie Munson x Reader~

80. Hard habit to break

{Eddie's POV}

I feel like a damn truck ran over me.

That is how I've been feeling all this weekend, ever since that stupid kiss in their car. I asked Chrissy, Nancy, even Max what did it mean, where they dating or some shit? And all I received was, 'She didn't say anything'.

Was it a game of hers and Hargrove? To rile me up? Anger me? Step over me? Whatever it was, I just had to know what happened, because I can't sleep at all. I have to drink this feeling away with booze in order to be able to.

So now I'm hangover, trying to reach for my shirt as I hear Wayne pounding on the door. It's a fucking Sunday old man.

"WHAT?!" I yelled out, finally getting hold of my t shirt, a simple black tank top and threw it on, and Wayne finally opened the door, looking all around, frowning.

"Oh... Morning son." He smiled weakly at me, and I noticed the certain nervous frown in his face, as if he was looking for something or... someone and he didn't find them here.

"What do you want?" I asked him, rubbing the sleepiness out of my face.

"Just wanted to see if you were alive." He said to me, and I squinted at that, frowning in confusion as he tapped on the doorknob of my room. He didn't check on me for that.

"What is it?" I asked him, wanting the truth and he seemed slightly nervous to ask me something, but then sighed, looking around my room still.

"Um... Y/N, did she come here last night?" He asked me and I kept the frown in my face, shaking my head slowly at him. She didn't go home last night. I felt my heart drop, and the knots in my stomach appeared again, the pain of my headache throbbing at me as my brain starting adding dots together.

"Why are you asking?" I asked him, knowing the fucking answer. He stared at me for a few seconds, a fake small smile breaking into his lips.

"She must have gone to Chrissy's, that girl must have forgotten to tell us." Oh, I don't believe shit.

"Lay it out on me Wayne. Where did she go yesterday?" I asked him, already feeling the lump in my throat forming. This better not be happening. He better not tell me what I KNOW I think is going on. He better not fucking tell me she was with him yesterday. My heart will not be able to handle it, I'm sure of that.

"Son..." And his eyes told me everything.

She was with him.

She didn't come home because she spent her night with him.

Wayne's eyes widened and he immediately rushed to me. I didn't notice the tears that started to slip out of my eyes, the banging in my head was killing me right now, but I felt my heart shattering. How did I let this happen? How did I let her go?

Why did I wait for this to happen?

I'm so stupid, I'm so fucking stupid. Why did I let this fear consume me to the point of losing someone like her?

"Eddie..." Wayne called out to me, but it felt like buzzing as his arms wrapped around my frame, pulling me towards his chest as if I were a small kid. But I can hardly move right now. A sob erupted from my chest as I kept my limp body being rocked by him. I let this happen. It's not her fault. I deserve this pain, I deserve this feeling, I deserve this because of what I did to her.

God, but knowing she is with someone else... I wasn't moving on, I didn't move on when I was with her, I didn't do this kind of thing to her. Knowing she slept at Hargrove's...