Make me Better ~Eddie Munson x Reader~

82. The Queen's Choice

{Y/N's POV}

What...?

This isn't real, right?

I'm dreaming. That Must be it.

'I oh so love you.'

'I oh so love you.'

No matter how many times I re-read it, the words don't smudge, the words don't become fuzzy, the words don't go away. This is not a dream. This is Eddie's handwriting. These are Eddie's feelings.

He loves me?

"Oh god..." A sob erupted from within me, and tears were already staining my cheeks, my make up running down. I don't understand anything. I don't get it. I don't get him. Why would he do this to me? Why would he confess to me this way? This cannot be real.

My breathing was running short and I stood up, starting to pace in the room, my hands running towards my hair but I couldn't run them through because of the fucking hairdo they made on me.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck..." I whispered to myself in order to try to catch my breath again, feeling my own heart beat everywhere in my body. Just everywhere, wanting to rip me open. I can't think straight. I can't think. How is this happening? Why is this happening?

I rushed towards the papers again, just to make sure I read those words right, because the story was painfully ours... It was our story. More tears started slipping out of my eyes and I covered my mouth to make the sob come out muffled into it. Suddenly, the door opened, but my eyes were still glued to the papers.

"Shit, are you alright?" I heard a familiar voice say, and I looked up with a stained face to see Jason Carver with a worried frown on his eyebrows. "Your mother told me you were taking a while to go back... Y/N are you okay? What's wrong?" I couldn't even speak as sobs came out of my mouth but I gripped onto the papers on my lap tightly.

"He-He...-" I can't say anything at all, so Jason rushes to my side after locking the door behind him so no one bothers us and he sits next to me, getting the papers in order to read them. I pointed towards the last part and he read it, making a face a few times showing me he wasn't understanding, until his eyes softened, widening slightly and then looked at my stained face.

"Holy shit..." I nodded in agreement and I grabbed the papers again, reading those words once more because I just feel like it's going to fade, and this isn't actually happening, but I rubbed them with my thumb and it was indeed there, in Eddie's handwriting, in his ink.

"He loves me..." I said out loud and the words made my stomach sink down, or it felt as if someone was grabbing onto it and just squishing it. My heart felt like it was stinging and I put a hand over my chest, noticing the erratic breathing I was exhaling.

"Okay, hang on, please breathe, slowly, you're going to pass out if you keep that pace!" I tried to follow his breathing exercise and it honestly helped because my brain was starting to clear up, letting it bring rational thought back and I felt myself calm down even if slightly. "Alright... So... What are you going to do?"

"What?" I asked him, blinking at him and he nodded towards the papers and then back at me.

"With this, what are you going to do?" I gulped and looked at the papers, and in all these months, I felt so much... So many things happened inside of me, and those feelings always torn my heart and my mind apart.

This time, both of them were in sync.

"I have to see him. Right now." Jason smiled at that and nodded.

"Alright, that's what I wanted to fucking hear." I was surprised by how supportive he was being right now, when he was the reason that I met Eddie... He was also the reason why I fell out from Eddie... But he is not the reason for what Eddie did to me. I sniffled and put the papers in my bag, as well as the flask, getting up from the couch but realization hit me way to soon... I was trapped.