Make me Better ~Eddie Munson x Reader~

75. Smiling at her worst

{Noone's POV}

Love is a miserable thing.

You are subject to feelings, and they are either happy or painful, subjected to the outcome of events. Love was always painful for Y/N. Never truly knowing what it was, not knowing when to consider it possible, and not knowing when one already feels it. She knew Laura's love was real, but towards another stranger? Romantically? She never thought it would be like this.

She always thought that love would be an easy thing. You find someone you care enough for, that person feels the exact same, and you live happily ever after. Now, that is bullshit. She knew that. But she thought it was possible with Eddie. She felt her feelings being reciprocated, she felt him being genuinely caring for her, loving for her, wanting to be with her. And she was wrong.

Feelings are horrible. They play an awful lot in someone's life, and she just wished she didn't have any at the moment.

She got out of the shower, her wet hair falling over her silk pajama dress as she walked towards her bed. It was her first shower in five days. She didn't see anyone or wanted to talk to anyone at all, not even her friends who constantly call and ring her doorbell to check on her. She felt awful for being like this, but she just didn't have it in her. Laura made her take a shower because she had to change her bed sheets thanks to the body odor from days of just laying herself away in there.

She paid attention to the closed door, trying to listen to the outside, and once she didn't hear anything she bent down, crouching to the floor to grab something from under her bed. A flask.

She knew she had a drinking problem when stress and anxiety hit her. It sucked having one at such a young age, and she knew it was wrong, but it calmed her down. She opened the little flask to take a large sip of the pure whiskey inside, wincing at the bitterness and burning. She closed the cap again and hid it once more. She stood up, deciding against eating lunch and went under her new clean covers, hiding her whole body in them.

The tears automatically started filling her eyes, and her chest felt as if an elephant was stepping on it. There was just too much pressure. When will it stop? It's been days now, and she cannot seem to have the will to even move, but even after her display in her house, she dragged her feet towards the nearest pharmacy to get the after pill, just to make sure. The last thing she wanted was a baby from someone who broke her heart to pieces and probably didn'teven imagine a future with her. She also told Laura she needed more than a week of spring break, and her grades allowed her to take one more week absence due to personal reasons.

She suddenly remembered his smile, his laugh, his nerdyness, his ongoing talks about his campaigns while eating a pizza together in her room or his. His guitar playing while she did her and his homework. Doing footsies with eachother under the table when they ate with Wayne and Laura. How she always did grabby hands at him whenever he came out of the shower and shirtless, drying his hair with his towel, and he would chuckle and rush over to her, to kiss her and then become a mess with one another, so much that Eddie would have to shower again. Those once happy memories, are now sad ones, ones she now wants to forget about. It seems many minutes went by as the tears rolled down her face, sniffles coming out of her nose, and she felt her bed sink as someone sat next to her body. She didn't even hear the door open.

"Laura, I'm not hungry..." She mumbles with pain in her voice.

"Do I look like Laura to you?"

Her eyes shot open, like plates, and she ripped her blanket off her head to look at the visitor.

"Billy? What are you doing here?" She asked him, and he took notice of the puffiness of her eyes, how swollen her lips were from sobbing, how red her cheeks and nose were from the mucus of crying way too much. He saw the fresh tears, rolling down her face, completely wet from them and the grip on her bed tightened, making a fist with her sheets.