Make me Better ~Eddie Munson x Reader~

76. Acting tough is tough

{Y/N's POV}

I spent my extra week getting caught up with my friends who visited me through the days. I was surprised when I saw the small bunch coming to check on me, but everyone had the same look in their faces, the look of pity, the look of being sorry for me.

It didn't help with how I was feeling. It was a constant emptiness in the pit of my heart and my stomach, as if a part was missing and I cannot find it. Wayne also came to see me, but it was really hard looking at him... Eddie's got his eyes. So whenever Wayne looked at me, I just felt as if Eddie was somewhat seeing through me. It was hard and painful.

I found out Nancy and Steve went out on a date... And it was fruitful to say the least. They were already planning on going on a fourth one now, and it was looking already serious. Chrissy and Robin... they slept together. I was told by Chrissy. They were watching a movie in Robin's home, and Chrissy was the one who kissed first. She didn't think Robin would go for something further, but she was glad she did. She definitely knew her orientation now and she knew that she wanted to be with Robin, which she still has yet to ask Chrissy out. They went on 'dates' which weren't specified as dates, but when I saw them they were holding hands, and playing footsies as they sat on my couch.

I was envious. Of all of them. Everyone had a someone, and here I was, trying not to cry OVER someone. It was worse than the feeling on Valentine's day. It feels as if I had lost all chance on getting together with someone at all, who loves me unconditionally without any trouble, without any excuses.

Hanging out with Billy though, helped a lot. I've been going to the auto club any time I could to race with my car and get tips on how to upgrade my engine with Sydney. He was actually good with his advice and his tips, helping me change the battery to a much newer one, and I was now planning on upgrading my engine for more horse power. I wanted to race my car as fast as I raced with Billy's.

I also received a call from my mother, who told me that there was a party coming up soon. A formal one. It would be with all of her partnerships and the people that collaborated with her, and she wanted to introduce me to... certain people. I knew her plan. She wanted to set me up with someone from, what she calls, the Elite. I was dreading that moment. It would be two weeks from now, and the last thing I wanted was to fake smiles and be presentable to people I could care two shits about.

But there was another problem at hand right now. I was still sitting in my car in the school's parking lot, dreading to come out of it. It was a Monday and I hate Mondays. I don't want to get out of my car, because it would mean I would have to face him. I would have to actually see his face after two weeks of avoiding any form of interaction, or word from him. I sighed as I rested my forehead in my steering wheel, not wanting to look around me. I felt like a zombie. I heard a knock on my passenger's seat, making me jump up and look up.

"You alright?" Mike Wheeler asked and I gulped, getting my bag from the passenger's seat and opening the driver's seat, getting out with a shake in my hands. "Hey, hey... you're going to be alright." He put a hand on my shoulder and I squeezed my bag tightly, giving him one nod. I closed the car door and stared at the school's doors.

"I don't know if I'll be okay Mike..." I honestly replied to him and he sighed.

"You're the Queen Bee of our high school. If someone can walk through those doors despite having a broken heart, that's you." He tried to cheer me up but I just feel so much anxiety in my chest, just pressing on me; wanting to crush me.

"I'm scared... What if he talks to me? I can't face him..." He chuckled and shook his head at me.

"We already made sure you guys cross the least paths as possible... Can't say he won't stare though... Now that you're a blonde." Ah yes... Small detail about this spring break. I got one of those depressive boosts of energy and adrenaline in the middle of it... And Chrissy tried helping me bleach my hair, but it all ended up happening in a professional hair salon. We just sucked at it. It wasn't a massive pearl white blonde, it was more like an ash, dirty blonde. I knew Eddie likes light hair. He always took notice when my hair was lighter due to sun exposure, or he would praise Robin whenever she got her highlights done.