Rain ~ h.s. (au)

Chapter 60

(A/N: Justin on the side (: )

+++

I look through the window, still waiting for Mary, and I just feel like the weather is somehow connected to my feelings. It's raining and everything is so misty and grey. It's probably just winter coming.

I'm still a bit shaken up from Harry's words and a promise I had to make for him two days ago. Yeah, it already has been two days. And to be honest, these days were like a nightmare to me. Harry and I just grow apart and there's just this annoying silence between us all the time. I tried to talk to him, but I feel so pushed away because that man can't even look me in the eyes. What I want to know is, what the hell happened in these past few days?

Maybe I did something to him, maybe I said something that hurt his feelings. I just don't know what to think about that. I asked him what's wrong, but I only got the 'nothing' or 'nothing for you to worry about, I'll tell you later'. Sadly, that later never happens. I called Liam to ask him if he knows anything about it, but he didn't pick up.

"Christine, are you okay?" I feel someone's touch on my shoulder and I look up to see Mary, looking at me with a worry in her eyes. I smile and nod at her.

"Yes, don't worry. Marcus left or he's still inside?" I ask, whispering without a reason and pointing at Mary's office with my finger. Mary chuckles and shakes her head.

"Oh, Christine. He left five minutes ago. I've been talking to you, or at least I thought I was, for a while." Mary says and smile shyly at her.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Mary. It's just-"

"Honey, you don't have to explain yourself to me," she interrupts me, "I know I've been taking you for granted lately and I'm sorry for that. Now, go home and take some rest." she finishes and I smile, somehow relived and happy to go home and take a nap because lately sleep is something I forgot what is.

"Okay, thank you so much." I say and stand up on my feet as I put on my coat. I really love it because it somehow feels like my home in Chicago. I take my bag and walk away from my table.

"Bye, Mary." I say and wave at her. She waves back and then disappears somewhere.

The cold rain somehow feels nice and comforting on my skin. I wish it could just wash the pain and every bad thought that's been on my mind lately. I've been so frustrated and lost in my own little world and somehow I manage to cope with everything.

I just need answers. An explanation. Just something to clear this mess in my head right now. I know he's hiding something from me. I can feel it and see it. The way he avoids to make eye contact with me, how he never dares to look into my eyes when his talking to me. I notice in his actions. Like how he's keeping his distance from me. He's always somewhere, anywhere but home. And I don't know. I'm not that annoying.

He's making it so hard for me to understand. To stay. I know I promised to stay with him no matter what happens, but how will I survive if things just continue being like this. I mean, I will not leave Harry. I'm positive in that. I'll stay with him. I don't even know what to think any more.

I just feel so far away from him, but I'm literally lying next to him in bed. He barely talks to me. And, Jesus, that hurts. I try to come up with anything to explain his actions, but I guess I'm just stupid because I can't come up with a single thing.

I just hope he'll tell me at the end.

"Are you okay?" someone behind me asks, and I feel probably that person's hand on my shoulder. I turn around, look up at the man. My mouth fall open when I see who this man is. I can feel my heart pounding hard and fast in my chest and I try to calm myself down, without him noticing it.