Rain ~ h.s. (au)

Chapter 46

Harry's POV

"So, tell me," I start looking into the stars above me, "What have I missed in your life?"

"What do you mean?" she asks, placing her head on my chest, only making my heart best faster and harder. I bet she hears it.

"Well, what happened to you in those years since we broke up." I explain and she sighs. Unsure what to do with my arm, I wrap it around her waist, trying to pull her closer to me.

"I get it." She says "As you can see I moved to London. But, before that, when I was in Chicago I started dating Luke, as you know. I decided on not going to collage, but taking online classes instead. My mother was pissed off and didn’t want to talk me for almost a month. Anyway, when we moved here, I found a job where El works and that’s how I met her. Funny things is, we didn’t like each other at all. Soon, I got a job offer from Mrs.Young, which I gladly accepted. ‘Cause you know being a counselor was always one of my dream and opportunity you'd get only once in a lifetime."

She talks on and on, me just nodding as I focus more on her features then her speech. I do wanna know her better, even though I know her very well I think. I let all my attention focus on her lips. I watch the way they move as she talks and the way she smiles and chuckles, closing her eyes as she laughs to the memory she just remembered. I focus on her eyes, how beautiful they are and how a spark shows in them when she remembers something. I watch with how many passion she describes every moment, some words I can't even understand because she's talking so fast. I'd usually find it annoying, but with her I find it cute.

"Harry, are you even listening?" she asks, after hitting my shoulder.

"Of course." I reply and she rolls her eyes. Fuck, she is so beautiful. Everything on her makes her look so adorable and irresistible. I course the moment when I cheated on her with a skunk who’s name I don’t even remember. I still can’t believe she’s here with me now. I thought she’d fuck me off the same moment I showed up on her doors. But, I was wrong I guess.

"Now, tell me something about you." She says smiling, laying on her stomach. My smile disappears as soon as she says that. I put a fake smile, because I don’t want her to notice anything. Fuck, oh fuck. I feel myself starting to panic like a pussy. I can’t tell her the truth. Fuck I was so stupid these days. I’m definitely not telling her that. That part I want to erase from my life and memory. She’d probably leave and never want to see me again.  Fuck, but what if she finds out? But, she won’t. Justin is in prison, his brother, that pussy can’t do anything to me. Fuck.

I’m ashamed of all those moments. It was the time when I went completely off the way. When Justin was the only one who could help me, give me something to make me feel better. If I only knew what a stupid decision that was. Just to be near a drug dealer and just a terrible person like Justin is, was the stupidest decision I ever made.

The only good thing is that he’s in jail for almost 3 years now. Of course, he wouldn’t be there without me who  practically sent him to jail. And I know I will pay once when he comes out of jail.

"Harry, are you deaf?" Christine’s voice takes me back to reality. I smile when I look at her, receiving a smile back.

"I hope not." I tease, making her roll her eyes.

"I, well, when we broke up, my way out of misery and pain was boxing. Niall told me about one gym, the one where I still go today, and he said, quoting ‘It’ll help you.’. He was right though. It did help me, a lot actually. I’d always hit the bag, or something else until I felt all that feelings and memories of you not being here, fade away. They never did if you wanna know. I also got a job offer there, becoming a boxer and fight for them. It was another way of getting money. After a year or something, I got a job in my stpadad’s, Robin’s company. And, I must say, I’m very good." I tell her, noticing she’s listening to me carefully. I skipped the part called ‘Justin’ in a reason I don’t want her to know any of that.