Rain ~ h.s. (au)

Chapter 43

Harry's POV

My throat goes dry as my mind starts running marathon inside of my head. I'm just...What the fuck? I was trying to stay on a friend relationship, while she was completely available. But that's not important at the moment.

''Ashley, please leave now.'' I tell her, turning around and walking into my room to change in to something more comfortable. God, why do I sound like is total pussy to myself?

On my surprise Ashley understood what I told her and without any whining left my flat. Unbelievable. Usually I need to practically draw her what does mean leave. Obviously that word was never in her language and now she knows it.

I push Ashley on the side and let my mind bother with some more important things in the moment.

I grab my car keys and lock my flat, before going to my car and driving off.

Now, my plan is going to Chris, but I don0t have anything else. I don't know what will I say. I feel like yelling, but i'm not gonna do that. That'd be so fucking stupid at this moment.

This whole thing of her and Luke's break up could be very good for me. i'm so selfish, fuck. But I really do want her. In every possible way. I knew she couldn't be mine because Luke 'had' her. and now, when she actually can be mine, I'm not planning on  missing this opportunity. I, maybe, finally have a chance to bring our past back, just without fucking everything up again.

But, fuck. I'm an idiot. The past I had after we split is not something I'm proud of. Nor something I'd like her to know. But, since I'm surrounded with all those idiots, I wouldn't be surprised if she does. But she won't and I'll make sure about it.

Before I know, I'm in front of the building. Probably I should just turn around, go home, wait for her to be ready for something I want and kill myself with every second that passes. That sounds like shit of a plan so I'm sure as fuck I'm not doing it. one of the reasons is because I'm selfish and I want her all by myself. And I can help it when it comes to her.

It's just something that makes me crave for her more than to any other women. Maybe is because she is my first love. Maybe is just something about her that makes her so interesting in every way. I don't know. I really wish I do so that I can do something to control that feeling when she's near me. but, I fucking do't know.

I lock my car and enter the building. This place is shit. But really. She has a really good paid work, so i don't get what the fuck is she doing here? El can be such a blabber mouth.

There's so many things I want to know about Chris now. Some simple stuffs. Like is her favorite color still green, or does she still watch same TV shows. When it comes to Chris, I feel like a 16-year old guy who still lives in Chicago. The one with a beautiful girlfriend and the one smarter than, probably me now.

I knock on the door. I haven’t even think about knocking, fuck, I should go. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Why am I panicking? What the fuck is wrong with me? I’m so fucked up.

I hear the door open and I loft my head up, just to see Chris.

“Yes?” she asked, but when she sees me, her mouth hang open.

She’s wearing simple black leggings and a grey shirt that’s slipping of her shoulder, giving me a look of her beautiful skin. Her hair is down in loose, just the way I like seeing her hair. Her lips are slightly opened, but still they look so plump and kissable. Fuck, I need to control myself.

I look up into her beautiful eyes again, completely ignoring the confusion in them.

“Harry, what a-,” she starts, but I press my lips against hers, stopping her from talking. She kisses back, her hand on the back of my neck pulling me closer as its fingers play with my hair. I close the door with my free hand. I try locking the door, but fail.