Rain ~ h.s. (au)

Chapter 38

Days pass quickly, me not even noticing how fast time went.

I'm currently in my couch cuddling with Sugar. I didn't give him any attention these days, because my mind was a mess and so my life. It's weird how my life got complicated in only one week. About that..

I haven't seen Harry for almost one week, since the last Sunday. I'm trying to not give any attention to the gym, while I'm going to work, and just stay unnoticeable. I don't wanna see Harry, because I know it'll just make me more confused than I am. No matter how much I tried to forget about that night, I just can't. Every time I close my eyes I can see him and feel his kisses. And it's driving me insane because there's nothing I can do about it.

I haven't talked to Louis either. I mean he has been calling me for the first three days, but he stopped. I didn't want to answer because...Man, even I don't know the reason. I guess I just don't want to be close to any of Harry's friends. Louis is not bad, completely opposite. He's funny and everything, but I just...I'm just a fucked up person.

I don't know why my life is so fucked up right now. Actually I do know, but I don't understand.

''I'm going out.'' a voice behind me speaks, making me jump a little from my seat. I look up, to meet Luke. He's wearing his white shirt and a black jacket. Jeans...black as always. He looks good.

''Where?'' I ask, patting a seat next to me for Sugar to jump on it again.

''Out.'' he answers and, I frown but put a smile on my face quickly.

''Okay.'' I whisper and he mutters a 'bye' and leaves the flat.

I don't know what's wrong with Luke lately. He's been acting strange since this Wednesday, and I feel so left out of his life because he doesn't want to tell me. He has been quiet and going out very recently, which worries me. I know it's pathetic for me to ask or even expect something from him since I'm the real bitch here. Maybe this is the way I'm paying for it.

One question never leaves my mind. And I keep on thinking how stupid I was for doing what I did. And how horrible person I am. Basically I was pitting myself.

Anyway, what if Luke found out about the whole Harry thing? Or something like that? No, he couldn't have. How would he?

''Yo, what's up?'' a female voice screams behind me, and I swear I almost just had a heart attack.

''Susan, how many time do I have to tell you to not do this? You scared the shit out of me.'' I say dramatically, putting my hand on my chest. She chuckles and sits next to me sighing.

''What happened?'' I ask, resting my head on my elbow, as I make myself comfortable on my seat.

''Nothing, I'm just tired. You?'' she questions and puts her hair on one side.

''Same. But, I have to tell you, that Isaac guy acted better today than the last time.'' I answer with a slight smile. I was honestly very surprised today when he came. He was polite, and I think we might get along. Plus he is fun to be with.

''I still can't believe that you're a counselor. I mean hey, we used to play with barbie dolls once and now look at us.'' she chuckles, showing with her hand between us.

''I know. Me neither.'' I smile. I really can't believe it. Everything seemed so simple when I was younger and the world looked so beautiful and wonderful. But now, world is fucked up and so it's my life. My mind can't take a break from all those problems that are constantly replaying in my head. 

+++

''Don't tell me everything's fine! Tell me the truth.'' I try not to yell at Luke, but my temper is rising up with every word he says.