Rain ~ h.s. (au)

Chapter 97

this chapter is very long, but you all deserve it since i suck with updating i'm sorry

comment&vote bc there's a lot of things are happening in this chapter it's sad

REMINDER: three more chapters to go omg

ok ily byee

-Ivy xx

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I pace across the room, with my hands crossed and my gaze glued to the floor beneath me. It's four pm and we're waiting for the guys to text us the information. They came back a few hours ago, with the tape and we agreed on out testimonies, while Harry was arguing with us. We found the letter Justin wrote for me in the trash, ripped on half, which is Harry's fault and we took that, hoping it might mean something. 

God, I can't believe I have maybe a few hours left with Harry.

How are things going to be after they take him? I know Harry and I know he's planning on something. And that something probably seems like the best solution to him, but in reality is so freaking stupid it's not even worth of discussion. What if he pushes me away? What if he starts with the talk how he doesn't want me to wait or something? I just hope he won't because that's just ridiculous. I know I'm ready on waiting for him for centuries if necessary. I just hope he knows that too. And I hope he knows that I'm ready on visiting him every day if that's what it takes.

I lean my back on the yellow wall and hide my face under my skinny fingers. How am I supposed this? How are we supposed to do this? What if something happens to him in prison? There's just so many what ifs, so many questions waiting for the time to give them answers. 

"Babe, come here." Harry whispers, his husky voice sounding so soothing to my heart, the one that's beating so fast and loud inside of me, threatening to jump out of it's place.

I don't hesitate, but just make my way towards Harry who's sitting on the bed with his arms open wide. Once I reach him, he gives me a small, sad smile that just breaks my heart. I place my petite hand in his and his fingers wrap around mine as I sit on his lap. He brings his arm around my waist and he hold tight onto me. He looks so worried, so sad it kills me inside. Seeing someone like him, someone who always had a tough expression on his face, or would just flash a smile here and there, someone who had always remained calm, or angry, but so rarely sad.

I know Harry for a long time, maybe even for too long. I've never seen him so devastated, so crushed. He sometimes would lose himself and let his feelings take him, but that'd usually be presented with him screaming at someone and throwing things around, breaking them like he was inside. Or he'd just put his problems a side and ignore them. Or he would just simply find a distraction, something or someone that's keep his worries away and make him forget about everything. I like to believe that is me. But, now, I don't know what to do.

He's trying to fool me, which he never did. He's trying to hide his emotions behind that poor, blue smile. It make me so unhappy seeing him like this, and just staring at his sorrowful and absent gaze. His green eyes seem so broken, so desperate in seeking for the right solution, a way to escape what's coming next. I wish, I wish there's something I could do to cheer him up, to say something that'll manage to put a smile on his face, just for a while. But, I know there's nothing. There's nothing to cheer both of us. He's going away and for years there will be a wall, a glass wall between us. 

He never looked so helpless, so clueless. Afraid even. 

"Stop worrying." he states, like his words will calm me down. He even smiles at me, again shares with me that sad, empty smile that destroys my heart. I keep my face straight, without a smile or a comment I'd usually say if we were in a different situation. But, now I just feel sad. That's it. That's all both of us are able to feel now.