Satzu one-shots + incorrects

collection 8.0

After Inkigayo,

Mark: Sana...I've been keeping this to myself for too long. I need to let it out.

Sana: As long as it's not you confessing your love for me, go on.

Mark: OH MY! How did you know? Do you love me too? I knew we were meant for each other. Sana, I really really really really really really really really real-

Sana: I don't lik-

Mark: *places his finger on Sana's lips* Oh hush darling. Let me confess first. really really really really really really reall-

Sana:  *removes Mark's finger from her lips in disgust* No I think you're mistaken. I'm ga-

Mark: *places his finger over Sana's lips once again* Impatient aren't we, baby? Let me finish up alright? really really really really really really really really really

Sana: *shoves Mark's finger away* NO BITCH YOU LISTEN TO ME. I'M FUCKING GA-

Mark: *places his finger over Sana's lips once again* Take me out on a date first before we fuck, Sana! Ohmydays! But let me finish this confession. really really really really really really really really lov-

Tzuyu *shoves a whole piece of bread into Mark's mouth* Sana's taken, you ugly looking hag.

Mark: *chewing aggressively* NU UH! SHE'S NOT!

Tzuyu: *shoves an orange into Mark's mouth* Taken by me, old hag. Sana's mine.

Mark: *stares at Sana in betrayal* YOU SAID YOU LOVE ME? WHAT IS SHE ON ABOUT, POOKIE WOOKIE COOKIE?

Sana: *shoves Mark's finger away* THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO SAY THIS WHOLE TIME, YOU DUMB BITCH! I'M VERY FUCKING GAY IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED! GAY IS MY DEFAULT SETTING! STRAIGHT? MEN? NEVER HEARD OF THOSE WORDS IN MY LIFE! I HAVE A WHOLE ASS GIRLFRIEND WHICH GOES BY THE NAME OF TZUYU! CHOU TZUYU!

Mark: Fuck you Sana! You were playing with my feelings the whole time? The winks you've been sending the camera throughout the entire performance wasn't for me?

Sana: IT'S THE FUCKING CHEREOGRAPHY FOR OUR SONG! OH MY FUCKING GAYS I'VE NEVER SEEN A HOMOSAPIEN THIS STUPID!

Mark: This *points between himself and Sana* is OVER! *starts bawling*

Sana: WHAT? WE WERE NEVER TOGETHER TO EVEN BEGIN WITH?

Mark: *crying* YOU CHEATER! I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN ALL THOSE WINKS WEREN'T FOR ME!

Sana:  *pulling at her hair* IT'S THE CHOREOGRAPHY OF OUR SONG, DUMB BITCH! And you're not wrong, those winks were all for Tzuyu.

Tzuyu: *turns Mark around, shoves another piece of bread into his mouth and pushes him* Run along now Mark. Go cry somewhere else.

Mark: *still crying as he runs* SANA YOU CHEATERRRRRRRRRRRR!

Jeongyeon: This is the reason why everyone in Twice is gay. Men are emotional creatures.

Nayeon: Men are hard to tame.

Momo: Men are disgusting.

Jihyo: Men are not slay.

Mina: Men are not it.

Dahyun: Men are weird.

Chaeyoung: Men don't got pussy.

- - - - -

In the dark living room, Sana had a black cape and a mask on.

Sana: I'm Batman.

Jihyo: I'm Robin.

Mina: I'm Superman.

Momo: *holding snacks* I'm Snackman.