Satzu one-shots + incorrects

collection

Jihyo: *on the phone with Tzuyu* Is Sana almost ready?

Tzuyu: We just stepped out of the shower, she'll be there
soon, unnie.

Jihyo: Good, we're about to start filming in a few min-

Jihyo: Hold up- did you just say "we"?

Tzuyu:

Tzuyu: I - I said "she"

- - - - -

Sana: *just being herself*

Tzuyu: You better stop acting like that before I look at you one day, feel warm, and realize I've fallen in love with you.

Sana: * continues being Sana*

Tzuyu: I'm serious, quit it! fuck-

- - - - -

Sana: Love, can you help me with the zipper of the dress? I have this one Prada event to attend.

Tzuyu: Of course!

Sana:

Sana: UP, Tzuyu, UP!

Tzuyu: Oh right! Sorry!

- - - - -

*shopping for groceries*

Jeongyeon : Fuck, we've lost Tzuyu-

Nayeon: She's always like that...wandering around the supermarket.

Sana: Don't worry I got this.

Sana, screaming: OUCH!

Tzuyu, from the other side of the store: WHO THE FUCK IS HURTING MY SANA?! *suddenly appears at Sana's side, asking her where it hurts*

Dahyun and Chaeyoung: Found her!

- - - - -

Sana: Can you buy this for me please?

Tzuyu: Of course I can.

Momo: You can't just pay for her!

Tzuyu: Sure I can, I'm her girlfriend. I can buy her anything she likes or wants.

The rest of Twice:

Nayeon and Jihyo: BUT WE'RE PLAYING MONOPOLY AND THAT'S CONSIDERED AS CHEATING!

- - - - -

Tzuyu: I get really nervous whenever Sana compliments me. I don't know what to say-

Sana: You looked really hot when you were shooting your scene just now!

Tzuyu: Hey boy! You've got two choices! Yes or YES!

- - - - -

Sana: *makes Tzuyu a cup of tea but puts salt in it as a prank*

Tzuyu: *sips tea*

Sana:

Tzuyu: *finishes tea*

Sana: Didn't it taste salty?

Tzuyu: A little, but you made it for me and I didn't want to hurt your feelings so I drank it all.

Sana: *tearing up* Oh okay. It was supposed to be a prank.
*sniff*

- - - - -

Sana: Don't look at me like that!

Tzuyu: Like what?

Sana: Like I'm your everything.

Tzuyu: Then I don't know how else to look at you.

Sana: *blushing*

Jihyo: I really need to find myself a lover-

- - - - -

Sana: Are you an F5 key? Because that ass is refreshing.

Tzuyu: Are you a software update?  Because not right now.

Nayeon: REJECTED AHAHAHAHA

- - - - -

Tzuyu: Sana, you do remember when we agreed we were better off as friends, right?

Sana, naked in Tzuyu's bed: No, I absolutely do not.

Tzuyu, already taking off her clothes: Fuck... Me neither.

- - - - -

Sana: So you like cats?

Tzuyu: Yeah.

Sana: *tries to impress them by slowly pushing a glass off the table*

Tzuyu: OH! I thought you were going to seduce me by showing me your pussy-

Sana: I- I mean I could do that couldn't I?

- - - - -

Tzuyu and Sana fighting.

Mina: *sigh* Here they go again-

Tzuyu: Shut up! Just go fuck yourself!

Sana: Fuck me yourself you coward!!

Tzuyu: Sure! *carries Sana bridal-style into their bedroom*

Nayeon: Well that was an amazing turn of events-