WhiteGXRoblox's Slice of Journal 2

16-24 February 2025

16 February 2025

Not this again, man. Staying up late till morning? Seriously? I am glad you're not dead or have class. 

I had a dream where we all look for car clues in parking lot like a treasure hunt mini game.Where we locate parked specific cars and look for treasures inside. Turns out, other classmates is already there and they were polite. As we done I walked back to my dad's Black BMW M6 Gran Coupe which I was driving earlier. Not to show off but I think it caught attention of many when I start the engine in the parking lot.

Somehow I bought a ticket secretly to Japan secretly without letting my parents know but realized I can't enter without my passport. It took very long for my common sense to kick inside the dream.

Maybe I should taken more rest but a bath always makes my mind clear regardless how tired I am, Anyway. I am thinking if there's nothing meaningful to do at KL. I might plan on return to hometown during this Semester Break which has started. If anything I will ask YH my dormmate one more time regarding to commission work.

Due to the fails yesterday, It somewhat fuels me to be serious or competitive for once in a game. I guess sometimes you gonna go All In with your effort in other to win, with tricks and techniques you know and use. Maybe if you fuel it to fun this work, it would work. I am talking about WMMT Arcade. Sadly I didn't win yesterday.

By 4:30 PM, I decided to vote to join the WMMT team tag race. To quench the thirst fuel of wanting to play competitively. But before that I asked YH if he wanna go out and eat but turns out he want some sleep. I guess it's fine.

I called my dad when I head out. Said it's actually encouraging for me to come back it no work to do. Since the expenses in city is crazy high, want me to come back and eat family meal. So i decided I will plan to return days later until new semester.

Apparently the team is better than me but actually relaxing and having fun. It turns out I am the one who keep doubting myself and too hard on myself for not being able to keep up how good they are. That being said, We stayed until 11:20 PM. I am not even sure if I can get home because of fellow mate taking me back.

today i think i weirded out the team when playing together at arcade. I was worried people may think im too reserved by being quiet and not talking, At the same time i worried about saying weird topics and talk unusually.Maybe I am too anxious or too worried about how people thinks about it.

In some cases I should share these thoughts of mine with parents instead of friends. Somehow this arcade session ended up with me being too anxious, and the people in the group think I am probably annoying because how I talk unusually.

Although initially it's well because I thought I could be useful. And worried about being too useless and not contributing. I was happy when I was able to share some clips I recorded for them during Team Tag.Well I do have skills issue but I won some, I am happy as team partner at the same enough I felt its not enough when I lost in the game.

I can't believe I am actually crying. Being too worried about fitting in, I shared my thoughts with fellow close friends and soon I realized. Maybe interacting with people is not for me and I should give up?

To be honest I feel better now after an hour. Maybe I will take this as learning lesson to my growth.

17 February 2025