Black Glitter *Completed*

So Am I

Adam's POV

Nix left an hour before Sauli came home, just in case he arrived early, as well as giving me time to prepare. Already, the image of Sauli's broken face was in the forefront of my mind; those big blue eyes shedding oceans, lip quivering. I'd seen this little elfin angel cry before and it was gut wrenching, especially if I was the one who'd made him break.

I was panicking. My palms were sweaty and my throat dry. Ten minutes now...

The front door opened and I heard Sauli's tired sigh. Uh oh.

"H-hey," I said, appearing in the foyer, leaning against the wall, arms crossed, plastering what I hoped was a convincing grin on my face.

"Hey. How was your day?" Sauli asked, coming up and kissing me. I tensed and so did he, pulling away. He licked his lips and tilted his blond head. "What is that taste?

Damn damn damn! How could I have forgotten?!

"Uh, new lipgloss. Do you like it?" I asked, trying to keep the shake from my tone.

He nodded. "It seems familiar though...the smell...peaches? Doesn't..." he trailed off but then shook his head and smiled.

"Anyway. How are you?"

"Good. And you?"

"I'm okay. Work was rough." He hung up his bag on a hook and stretched. "I need to shower. Care to join me?" He winked, slipping his arms around my waist. Inhaling deeply through my mouth so I didn't smell his devastating cologne, I tried a chuckle. "Maybe next time. I was thinking about making dinner. Hungry?"

Sauli nodded against my chest. "Starving." He pulled away and started up the stairs to our bathroom. "Be done soon."

"Sounds good."

Ugh. I'd just prolonged my suffering. So now I had to actually make dinner; throwing together some cheese and risotto dish that was one of Sauli's favorites.

He returned smelling clean and fresh, and seated himself at the island while I dished up the food.

Now all there as to do was make it through dinner...

~*~
Oh man. Here it is. Can't put it off any longer.

Sauli was on his laptop, one earbud in, while I was flicking through channels on TV.

"Aiotko katsoa jotain?" (are you going to watch something?) He asked. I struggled for a moment on the dialect, giving him a question look. He indicated the screen.

"Oh, uh. Actually, I wanted to talk to you,"

"What about?"

About the fact I've fallen in love with my best friend and I'm about to break your heart into a million pieces.

I took a deep breath and muted the TV, turning to face him. "Um, something...happened. Well, it happened a while ago, I guess but I kinda ignored it and then things sort of escalated-" I stopped, hands clasped by my knees, head bent.

"Adam? What is wrong?" Sauli asked, his voice quiet and worried. He set aside his laptop and came to my side. I didn't move when he put his hand on my arm.

"Sauli, it's about Nix, and...me." I croaked. Sauli was still, with a confused look on his face. Crap. I'd have to just be blunt.

~*~

I watched his face fall bit by bit, but tried to avoid looking directly at him for too long at a time. His already snow white skin went a whiter shade of pale, his big blue eyes glassed over.

My heart was deafening in my ears and I could feel my pulse beating like a bass drum right under my ear.

"You have...fallen for Nix?" Sauli repeated quietly, staring at the ground, lips parted.

I just nodded.

"And she, as well?"

"Y-yes. She said if you wanted to talk to her about any of this, that that would be fine."

Sauli suddenly stood, his chiseled features wracked with the emotion I never thought I'd cause him to feel.

"Were you cheating on me?" He asked harshly.

Oooh. Um. No?

"No..."

"Why do you say it like so?" He demanded, facing me.

"I kissed her."

"More than once?"

I twisted my hands. "Um, yes. Three times." There was no point in beating around the bush.

Sauli exhaled a deep breath and gripped his hair, his shoulders slumped. "And now you want me gone."

"Whoa, Sauli, it's not like that-"

"Then what is it?!" He yelled.

"I don't want you gone! But it's not fair to anyone involved here for me to pretend I'm something I'm not or act like nothing happened!"

"Were you lying to me all this time? Do you even like guys in the first place?"

I stood up. "Yes! But I like girls too! There's a name for that, you know. You knew who I was from the start- I've never lied to you."

"Except about this," He pointed out sharply.

"No, because I didn't know what was going on. I didn't want to make a huge deal out of it and risk things even more if it was just me being...curious. But Sauli, it is true, and that's how I feel. I know you're angry at me and that's totally okay, but I can't live a lie to you. It's just not fair."

Sauli had silent tears of fury and despair running down his cheeks. I knew those tears: tears from being so angry that crying just wouldn't cut it. Feeling so numb with a sickening, suffocating agony that could only come one thing: heartbreak, betrayal.

Because that never comes from your enemies.

"I...I'm sorry." I said, biting my lip to keep my own composure, but several tears slipped through.

Sauli looked at me, his eyes dead and cold. "So am I."