Black Glitter *Completed*

Too Much Faith

"Don't you dare leave me. Don't you dare, do you understand?" I brushed back the sweat drenched hair from her forehead.

"Don't. Nix, stay here with me...with us...I won't be able to do this alone and you know that. I'm a mess without you." I choked on my own tears but let them fall.

"I want to save you, baby. But I don't know how. Tell me how, Nix, and I swear I'll do everything I can.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

"You can hear me and I know it. Remember our first kiss? How magical that was? How taboo it was and how dangerous we felt? I never want to give that up, honey. Not as long as I live. And I promised you that-we both did. The story isn't over, Nix. We've still got chapters and chapters-maybe even a whole series and I want to see it through till the very end. Listen to me."

Beep ba-beep. Beepbeep.

The soft cries coming from behind me escalated to a scream and my own voice rose in pitch as well.

I planted a soft kiss on her cheek while the world swam around me.

"Don't leave me. Not like this...You damn well better wake up! For me...

"For us..."

The heart monitor stuttered and a host of nurses pushed past me, talking but I heard nothing, my eyes still glued on Nix. They kept shunting me further and further away until I snapped to, realizing what was happening.

"She's going into cardiac arrest!

"Someone get him out of here!"

"NO! No, stop!" I tried to get closer but two sets of hands grabbed my arms and shoulders, dragging me back roughly. I strained against them, thrashing and screaming.

The breathy wails coming from the plastic incubator in the corner grew, terrified for its small life.

"Adam, come on! They're trying to help her, we promise!"

I had no more strength left and eventually they succeeded in removing me from the room. It was utter chaos as the curtain fell back into place and the door shut behind me.

Numb, I allowed myself to be steered down the hall to an empty waiting room where the smell of coffee and the buzz of a broken light was all there was.

"Sit,"

I did, hunched over and feeling sick.

"Adam, look at me."

I didn't know this guy's name-there were too many people to remember, but I did as he asked, lifting my heavy head and wet eyes to meet his.

"They will do the best they can, alright?"

I looked past him to see a tired nurse carrying the still crying bundle. Her footsteps were heavy and her expression, grim.

"Oh, God. No..."I moaned, air unable to reach my lungs. The nurse turned to see what I was talking about. The two locked eyes with one another, and the man nodded then returned his glance to me.

"No," I repeated in a monotone.

The nurse stood before me. "Adam, I think the baby will stop crying with you here."

I didn't feel capable of holding my own child, but nodded, allowing the nurse to deposit the bundle into my arms.

"It will never be the same," I choked. "Without Nix. I'll never be good enough, just me, alone. No kid should grow up with only one parent."

"Don't say that. This baby needs you, Adam. You're their whole world now. You can do this."

"Not without her."

"Yes, even without her. It's what she would have wanted."

"We don't always get what we want though, do we?" I spat. I couldn't bare to look down into the little pink face that resembled Nix so much. Even if I saw my eyes there, I would see too much of Nix.

Everything, gone. Forever.

"Adam! Wake up!"

I sat bolt upright with a panicked yell, nearly falling onto the floor.

"Adam!"

Gasping, I looked down and saw her- beautiful Nix, alive and here with me- but looking frightened.

"Baby, what the hell were you dreaming?" She whispered, eyes wide.

I wiped the sweat from my forehead with the back of my hand, my heart like a heavy bass in my chest.

"Oh my God... thank God that wasn't real," I muttered, covering my face. Nix placed her warm hand on my clammy skin and brushed her lips to my shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Addy...if you need to talk about it..."

"I don't want to scare you," I replied quietly. I couldn't show her my face, the tears that streaked down it and ran into my mouth. A bitter ocean.

"Sweetie, I doubt that you could."

I shook my head. "No, I could. It scared me."

Finally, the need to feel her in my arms outweighed my shame of her seeing me cry, and soon she was wrapped in my arms with my lips gently against her.

"I love you so much," I whispered, the words hitching in my throat. "I don't deserve you..."

"Shh, stop saying that." Nix stated firmly. "We deserve each other, equally. And that's how it'll stay, got it?"

Oh, Nix...you put too much faith in me

(Hey Glamberts! Sorry it's short! Been busy, but I will try to get back into the swing of things and come up with something interesting :F I have a path that I'm trying to stick to, but actually writing it is the hard part lol

Thank you for 8k reads!! Crazy!

And again- check out the NEW Spotify playlist for the story! It would be under Black Glitter, and you won't miss it because the cover has basically just Adam albums on it ;) If you have some songs you think would fit the story, feel free to drop a comment!

 As always I will see you in the next chapter!

~CG)