*danny*
Jess called the doctors yesterday and said she wanted to go ahead with the treatment.
We have been looking online at the differences and the good and bad points of each one. She has decided on chemo. It says that everybody reacts differently though.
I think she is telling Orla at the moment. I go and stand unseen by the door to the lounge.
Jess: orla, mummy isn't very well. Mummy has a thing called cancer and it's where mummy's blood isn't very good. But the doctors are going to try and help mummy get better. But it's going make mummy more ill and tired first. So nanny and grandad, auntie holly and everyone is going to help and you can go see then all the time go see tommy and everyone yeah? but baby if mummy has to go away, she will go up into the sky at sit on a cloud and when you look up you might not be able to see mummy but I will always be able to see you, because your my little angel and I will love you forever! in sorry angel...
She hugged her tight. I could hear the lump in her throat that soon spilled into tears.
Orla: please don't go mummy
Jess: I'll try not baby
Orla: I love you
I saw this hurt Jess more than anything.
Jess: I love you too... don't ever forget it
I wiped my eyes and went into the kitchen. I sat at the island and checked a few emails. Jess came through whipping her eyes and opened the cuboard that had glasses in.
Jess: I do-nt deserve this... she-doesn't d-Deserve this...
I got up and started to walk closer
Danny: it'll be ok
Jess: NO IT WONT! WHY WONT YOU GET THAT INTO YOUR TINY LITTLE BRAIN DANNY! NON OF THIS IS OK! IM DYING DANNY! DYING AND IM NOT EVEN 30! I MIGHT NOT GET TO SEE MY DAUGHTER TURN 2! SO DONT TELL ME ITS OK EVERYTHING WILL BE OK CAUSE IT WONT! I HAVE NEAR NO CHANCE OF MAKING IT THROUGH THIS! EVERYONE JUST NEEDS TO COME OUT OF COOKOO LAND AND FACE UP TO THE FACT I HAVE CANCER! AND IM NOST LIKLY GOING TO DIE! STOP THINKING OH ITS JESS SHE SURVIVED BEING STABBED, BRAIB BLEEDS AND ALL THE OTHER SHIT SHE WILL BE FINE! BECAUSE OTS DIFFERENT! maybe it's time I went. Time I left. Cause all I do is cause shit, and hurt everyone.
As she said it she smashed the glass in her hand on the floor with all her strength. She grabbed another and another and another...
Jess: IT WILL NOT BE FINE! IM LITTLE BABY MAY GROW UP WITH OUT A MUM!
she continued to get her self into a state and and smash the glasses. Splinters of glass flew everywhere. I turned round and Orla was there. I grabbed her and stood in the door way.
Danny: jess! jessie! stop!
Jess: ITS NOT FAIR AFTER EVERYTHING HAVE I NOT SUFFERED ENOUGH!
I turned Orla around and covered her face.
Danny: Jess stop! your scaring orla!
She continued I don't think she was listening. Her feet had started to bleed from the little splinter of glass. I grabbed my phone and called holly.
*call*
Holly: hey dan
Danny: holly I need you to go- FUCK!
Jess threw a glass to the wall near me and Orla. I walked out towards the stairs.
Holly: danny?
Danny: holly I need you to come get orla, Jess is in some state smashing everything.
*end of call*
Before I say anything she had hung up and knocked on the door. I have her Orla and she said she would take her and tommy to the park. Orla was crying mostly because I think Jess had scared the shit out of her.
I went back to the kitchen. Jess had smashed most things she could get her hands on.
Danny: JESS STOP!
She held a plate in her hands and looked up at me. Her eyes puffy and red. Bits of plate, glass, mug everywhere.
She slowly looked around and tears formed once more in her eyes. I think she had realised what she had done. She put the plate on the side and fell the a bundle on the floor.
I ran and picked her up. My feet now red saw. I took her to bathroom where I ran a bath and stripped her down. Her tears kept going. I made sure it wasn't to hot before I put her in.
I washed her gently so get rid of the blood and glass but I made sure not to touch her feet as they would be painful at the moment. I washed her hair for her. She was very quiet I think taking it in.
I lifted her chin and wiped her eyes before giving her lips a peck.
Jess: I'm- sorry
Danny: it's ok babe...
Jess: no it's not, it's not fair on you or Orla- Orla where is she?
Danny: the park with holly and tommy.
Jess: did she see?
Danny: yeah
Her face soften to shock.
Danny: it's fine though...
I wrapped a towel round her and helped her out. She winced in pain when I stood her on her feet to i sat her on the table and grabbed the tweezers.
I removed the bits of glass and washed her feet again.
Jess: thank you
Danny: mmm
I kissed her and we went into the lounge. We has a few pack arrive about everything all the stages, treatments and we decided to read through them.
Danny: *sigh* Jess you need to start accepting this. Because rejecting it isn't going to help. It mean your going to get more worked up and it's going to hurt you more. You have to play a mental game too. You can't let cancer destroy your belief and determination. You have to accept it and say yeah I have cancer but that's not going to stop me. I'm going to rise above it and conquer. Jess cause you can conquer the world... you just got to believe and accept...
She smiled a bit at my quote of her lyrics and I hugged her.
Jess: I'm sorry. I'm just scared.
Danny: I know baby, I know...
I don't know what's going to happen next. I just hope she still here.
My jessie. Not this monster.
*****starting to sink in now... :) please comment vote and fan :Dxx*****
YOU ARE READING
#janny (JessieJ and danny o'donoghue fanfiction) xx
FanfictionThey say love is hard, and i think both danny and jessie will find that out. but will they make it through the hard times life throws or crumble under preasure? Jess has a past of bad decision and Danny need love to put his habits right, can they so...
