#janny (JessieJ and danny o'donoghue fanfiction) xx

chapter 161 - don't let go

*Jessie*

I wake up in my own bed, next to my husband, in my home. I run my fingertips over the quilt and smile. I have my whole family around me, im in my own home, its Christmas Eve. I've managed to fight this cancer for a whole year now.

I roll over and look at Dan; I've missed seeing his face when I wake up. I draw little circles on his hip that was showing under his t-shirt.

Danny: I've missed mornings like this...

Jess: me too...

I look up at him and peck his lips.

Jess: it's been nearly a year since I found out I had cancer... I've made it nearly a year!

Danny: it's crazy, it doesn't seem that long... im so proud for you, think maybe by this time next year you'll be completely clear...

Jess: don't get carried away...

He smiles

We lay a little longer, it's about 9am. And I managed to sleep through the night. I think it was because one id had such a full on day yesterday but also because I was in the comfort of my own home.

We finally decided to get up; we didn't go far just to the floor of the room. We get the piles and piles of presents from cupboards and hidden places and start the wrap marathon. We have all of orla's Santa presents, family presents and friend presents.

Some we have already done and have been put under the tree. Im on tape and cutting duty and Dan folds and sorts the paper.

Jess: I think we got her enough

We laugh looking at the pile. We place them all in one of those big sacks; it had orla written on it. I had ordered it especially for her- it's kind of hard to find named things with the name 'orla' on them. I get some bits of ribbon and curl them by running the scissors down them and attach them making it look my pretty. God knows why she's is a two year old I don't think she will appreciate it, haha.

Danny: who's next?

Jess: um, your mums?

Danny: ok...

We wrap a shit load of presents, I watch him as he fiddles with the paper, and I laugh.

Danny: why won't it just fold!?

I laugh and help him; I smooth the creases out and fold it up.

Danny: why does it work for you and not me?

I giggle abit and he tapes it. I lay down on the floor among hundreds of wrapped presents. Danny comes and lays next to me

Danny: I think we went a bit over the top...

Jess: its Christmas... but yeah maybe

We laugh

Jess: now scoot...

He laughs and kisses me before leaving. I find my presents for Danny and start wrapping.

*Danny*

Danny: orla can you come here please?

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-

Danny: orla come on...

She soon came running through, I picked her up and took her through to the music room, and I sat her on the piano.

Danny: you need to write mummy's card...

I draw dots on the card for her to join up, she smiles and does it.

Orla: can I draw a picture on the other side?

Danny: of course you can angel...

She started to draw on the blank said of the card. I write mine and then we wrap her presents.

Jess: ORLA?

Danny: go on, go see mummy...

I lifted her down and she runs off. I smile and go and add the presents to the pile under the tree. Which is now already over flowing! I go and sit up the island in the kitchen and my ma comes and sits down with me.

Danny: I keep thinking this could be the last time we spend Christmas together, last time the whole family will be together, the last time I'll see her smile or here her laugh, the last time I'll fall asleep next to her...

Ma: don't say that son...

Danny: why? Everyone is thinking it... it's the truth... I know it, you know it, she knows it... and it hurts me to know she is hurting, and that she is hurting because she sees how it's hurting us!

Ma: Daniel I know, I know it's hurting you, and it's hurting her. It's hurting us all. It hurts me to see you hurting over her and hurts me to see her way... none of this is fair but Daniel, son, look at the time you've had, remember and cherish the good and forget the bad. Remember and live on them smiles and laughs the happiness but push away and shut the pain, hurt and tears out... she might not have long left and although it hurts to say it- even think it, it's true and you need to realise quickly instead of feeling this way- which I know you can't help go out and make the most of it! Spend the time with her, fall asleep next to her, cherish these moments because you never know when it's going to be gone...

I wipe my eyes and just go and hug her,

Ma: im gunna pop over and see Dara, ok?

Danny: y-yeah, thanks ma- for everything!

Ma: its ok son...

She left and I made me, orla and jess a hot chocolate. I took them upstairs and knocked on the door,

Jess: yeah?

Danny: I bring drinks?

Jess: hang on...

I heard orla's little feet running about before she came and opened the door, I smile and she lets mean. We all sit on the bed and put the TV on, I flick through the Christmas feel good shows to find a film, we decide on the Grinch and it was then starting.

Snow started to fall outside and settle on the window sill. Frost froze on the window and everything felt right and complete just for a little while. As if there were no cancer, as if we were all fine, like we have nothing to worry about.

I watch jess and she watches the film, she notices and looks over, I smile and she does to.

Danny: I love you... thank you for giving me a new life with in my old horrible one, for making me feel complete... sometimes I feel like I've let you down and im sorry, cause if I had of know our time may be cut short I would have thought twice about everything and never have let you down! Jess your my everything and I hate that I may soon not be able to hold you in my arms like this but thank you for giving this chance and making the best memories to cherish ever... *whisper*

She sniffles through her tears

Jess: I love you more than anything, im sorry that we might not get longer together... but Danny you've given me the funniest, drama, action and love packed life I could ever ask for... and I don't regret a single part of it because each part has made us stronger... Danny I'll never be far whatever happens, I'll always be your second skin, cover you like a shield because of all the times you have taken the hits and blows for me... I love you Daniel O'donoghue don't ever forget it, and if I don't pull through, if I don't make it... don't give up on me, cause I'll wait for you cause we have many more memories to create...

I sniffle now my tears, I lean across and kiss her ...

Danny: just don't let go...

****sorry excuse me will I dry my tears! IM SO SO SO SORRY IT'S LATE!!!! I've had so much course work and stuff to do recently... but I'll get back on track now... and omg warning now the next few chapter you may need a box of tissues for... please comment, vote and fan:Dxx****