#janny (JessieJ and danny o'donoghue fanfiction) xx

Chapter 149 - bad news...

*jessie*

Ugh. Another week. Another week if dying. Another week of my life gone. In sat with Danny and Orla is cuddled to me.

I'm waiting for skyler to come and do my Iv line.orla is ill and so am i. im not going to lie i feel like uttler crap, my body aches and hurts, i feel like i have no energy, im tired and look like death. i have big red panda eyes, chapped lips, pale and weak. 

danny has hold of my hand and i stroking orlas hair with my other hand. she asked me about my cannula the other day, and i took it as a chance to explain everything a little more. she asked me if it hurt and i said sometimes and she asked loads of question, i can see her wanting to be a mental doctor when she is older- i know she is young but she wants to know about YOU not about the world as you would think growing up but about you. its amazing! i think if prefere her to go down that road instead of the musical route i guess, its not an easy road- rejection, a lot of hard work and no privacy... but i will support her whatever...

skyler soon pops her head in.

skyler: awh, you guys really do look ill...

jess: feel it too...

skyler:how we feeling?

jess: im still alive but im barely breathing...

i smile

danny: cringe!

jess: i know

we laugh

skyler: ok, um do you want me too check orla over? i may be able to give some antibiotics and then you some too?-

danny: yes! sorry haha yes please... just i dont know how much running up and downstairs with buckets of sick i can take...

he laughs and she does too, i stiffle a smile. she does my IV line and danny goes with orla to get her checked over. i sit in silence, i sigh and open my phone. the pain soon comes about 30 minutes in... i open my facebook and look down my time line- my private account. clair had put pictures of Ellie up, yep ellie has started already, i think her full name lasted about 2 hours... haha. i like them all, it makes me smile so much seeing her. 

im so proud of clair. i decided to comment

comment: awh babe she is so cute! need to get rid of this cold and see her! getting big now... love you all!!<3xxx

i smile and go on my page. the only people i really have on facebook is, family and a few close friends. i decided to post a picture that i took the other day of me and orla snuggled on hte sofa

post: feeling so ill! me and the little one are ill, poor Danny been running about with bowls of sick :/ sorry babe! its making today alot harder but no one said this was easy... hopefully getting something to help today! xxxx

hannah commented almost straight away,

hannah's comment: oh babe, i knew she should have stayed until she was better... i hope you both feel better soon!! love you!xxxxxxxx

i smile, and reply

commment: thanks Han, for everything you've been such a help recently! i dont know what i would of done with out you! as soon as ive beaten this im going take you out, not taking no as an answer;) proper girly night! love to the kids aswell, miss you all!! xxxxxxxx

i saw rachel was online, i was tempted to message her. i open her messages and look back through them, i miss her so much! my two sisters were my everything, the ones i wanted to be the ones who taught me wrong and right growing up and always helped me with anything. we were the 3 cornish pasties but now... Han said she is really taking this hard. i know everyone is but she said she is really not coping. and that... that makes it harder...

a tear excapes my eye and i quickly wipe it away and try to think of somethign to write, 'i miss you xxxx'? 'what happened:( i miss you so much Rach...'? 'i need you rachel, please?' 'RACHEL FOR GOD SAKE I MISS YOU I NEED YOU MY SISTER! :'('? i sigh and close it, nothing seems right. 

skyler comes back with orla and danny. they sit down and she explains the medicine. i look at her- something is different... 

skyler: next thing is your ankle miss! i can tell from here something is wrong... i looked over yiour file and we need to xray it because if you have dislodged one of your plates we need to sort it ok?

i nod, was is different?! UNIFORM! her uniform is different!

jess: YOUR UNIFORM! sorry, i couldnt work out why you looked different- your uniform!

she used to wear a purple nurses dress and now she has a black one!

skyler:oh *laughs* yep, i got my results for my course

danny: oh god yeah! you took it early! i was meant to ask how it went!

skyler: pass! 

danny: oh wow! well done!

jess: congratualtions! awh i bet your so happy!

skyler: thank you! yeah, and since this ward is short staffed at the moment, i am the head nurse... until i can be transfered to childrens but yeah!

jess: come here!

i held my arms out and hse hugged me. awh im so happy for her! she deserves it!

danny: thats amazing! im so happy for you!

jess: we all are!

sshe thanked us and i once i finished chemo were taken for xrays. i was so tired when i got back i must have fallen alseep because the next thing i know danny is waking me because the doctor was here. 

doctor belgrave: how we feeling jessie?

jess: tired and ill... 

doctor belgrave: ok well i have good-ish news and bad-

that bad sent shivers down my spine and fear to my stomach. 

doctor belgrave: good news is your ankle although broken, you havent moved any of the plates to we wont need to opporate just splint it and check it now and then ok?

i nod, i couldnt move the fear- what bad news? the cancer has got worse?! there is no way i can make it?! the tension is killing me! this is it, bad news, im going to die. no way of making it. they are going to take me off chemo because its pointless and im going to die! everything possible circles round and round. making me dizzy but he starts and i all i can focus of are his words, watching his mouth move and the words i probably dont want to hear come out...

doctor belgave: bad news...

******sorry its late i went to the sundown festival on saturday and was meant to be going again yesterday but all the adults were drunk and i was with my friends so we were too and i didnt get to sleep until about 7am, so i spent the day recovering... oops. but i will update both stories tonight :Dxx******