#janny (JessieJ and danny o'donoghue fanfiction) xx

chapter 123 - bite the bullet

*jessie*

so my week now goes. chemo monday. tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday, saturday all spent throwing up, tired, weak and ill. sunday feeling better and myself before it all starts again. lets just say cancer sucks.

its currently wednesday and its 3 days before valentines day. sucks. i had my scan on monday and they said the cancer is neither reacting or not reacting to the chemo so im on a stage higher. making this week even thougher. but i have to say my spirts i quite high, i feel good- well as can be.

i walked slowly through to the kitchen. danny is making a cuppa. the doctors say i should conserve my energy but keep moving as much as i can other wise i can get problems in my bones and muscels.

jess: babe?

danny: yeah baby?

he still makes me smile.

jess: i have something for you...

he turned round and placed two cups on the island and looked confused at me. i sat on a stool and handed him a envolpe. he looked more confused. i rolled my eyes.

jess: its an early valentines present, you'll see why when you open it.

he undid the flap ad pulled out two tickets. he read them.

danny: babe?

jess: yes?

danny: no

jess: pleasse for me?

i had gotten him two tickets to go over to ireland and see his mum and visit his dad.

danny: its too risky for you too fly...

jess: thats why im not going, you and orla are. its all sorted. you can go over spend sometime with your mum and visit your dad. holly is gunna come stay with me, ill be fine. you and orla need it. just some time away i know the past month and a bit have been all over the place and you need a break. you havent visited your dad in a while and orla loves seeing you mum.

danny: but-

jess: nope

danny: ur-

jess: nope.

he sighs in defeat and i clearfully get up and hug him.

jess: you leave tomorrow...

danny: your amazing you know that. your spirts. everything. even when your dying and need everyones elses help you still go out of your way to orginise and help others.

jess: thats why you love me...

i kissed him.

danny: sure do. god i love you. and i know that soemtimes i say those 3 words too much but its because i cant express how much i love you and how amazing you are. there isnt apart of me that doesnt love you. i dont know what id do with out you...

jess: might know soon... *whisper*

danny: no. dont say it. dont even think it.

he gives me a smile and a kiss. he goes to tell orla and pack. i really think danny needs this time out from full on care of me. i sigh and i sit back down im knackered. moving is very tiring now. next week im hoping to start a course of tablets thta give me a boost. well i hope.

i drink me tea before going to find orla. she was sitting in the lounge watching rar rar the noisy lion. i sit with her.

orla: mummy?

jess: yes, baby?

orla: was gramdad shay sick too?

that was strange, she never asks anything like that.

jess: yes baby, but grandad shay was a different type of ill. daddy take you too go see where grandad shay is maybe not tomorrow but the day after yeah?

orla: yeah, will you have to go and stay with him if the doctor cant help?

she is very inteligent for her age. but she never fails to amaze me.

jess: y-yeah, why dont you go help daddy pack, then we can get you in the bath ready for bed yeah?

orla: yeah! after bath can we watch frozen in your bed with you and daddy?

jess: yes, if you want baby... go on...

she jumped off the sofa and ran to find danny. i take a breather before getting up ad going into the bathroom. i run a bath of bubbles and i put her toys in. i walked through to her room and danny was sitting on her case while she tried to zip it up. i gigle and they she gives up, she is very indapendant.

jess: orla, if you ask daddy really nicely he might put frozen on and make hot chocolates while you have a bath?

orla: please daddy?

she said jumping up and down.

dannny: go on then...

she smiled happily and i gave danny a kiss on the way past. im trying to be as happy and upbeat as possible, we'll see. i undressed her and put her in the bath. she splashed with her toys making all the noises. id give anything to be that age again where you have no cares, no fears, no worries.

i wash her hair while she plays with a toy boat and a toy person. She always managed to calm me, just her presence. My little angel.

Once she was done I wrapped a towel round her and dried her. I picked up her pjs and dressed her before combing through her hair and blow drying it. I gave her a kiss and we walking into my room. Danny was in bed ready, he had his batman onesie that Orla got him for Christmas.

Orla jumped into bed with him while I changed I put my mavel pjs on and climbed in with them. Danny clicked play on frozen. It's orlas favourite film she loves it.

I focused on the film but not really. My mind wondered to everything else that was around. Mainly to Danny. I was scared that something may happen while he was away but I know he needs time away so I just have to bite the bullet.

It doesn't take long for Orla to fall asleep and soon dan is drawing circles on my arm while I did to Orla. The silence wasn't uncomfortable but I wanted to speak, tell him how feel him everything spill it all but I can't. I'm afraid.

I must have fallen asleep. I hear dan whisper good night and kiss the top of my head as my eyes drew heavy again. That's all they seem to be good at, at the moment...

****sprry for missing an update :/ please comment, vote and fan:Dxx***