#janny (JessieJ and danny o'donoghue fanfiction) xx

chapter 135 - let me say sorry!

*danny*

i walk through to the lounge with a cup of coffee and tea. jess was cuddled up with hundreds of blankets still slightly shaking still.

danny: warmer?

jess: a-a little, t-thanks

danny: for what?

i ask as i hand her a coffee and sat down oppsite him on the sofa.

jess: l-letting m-m-me in

danny: haha im not going to not let you into your own house...

she slowly stopped shaking and i saw her relax into the blankets.

danny: so we gunna talk about this?

she nodded sipping her tea.

jess: um, i i, *sigh* i werent thinking i guess... danny, you've read the statistics. these doctors talking about surviving. one year, two years, a month, no months, like its the only thing that matters. but what good is it, to just survuve if i am too sick to work, to enjoy a meal, to make love? for what time i havr left, i want to live in my house. i want to sleep in my own bed. i dont wanna choke down 30-40 pills every day, i didnt want to loose my hair, and lie around, to tired to get up and so nauseated that i cant even move my head. with you cleaning up after me? me, some dead women, some artificially alive, just marking time?

she looked down taking a big breath her voice cracking at the end. i wiped my tears.

jess: and thats how you'd all remeber me...thats the worst part...

i could now hear the tears and pain. i swallow hard. i understand more now.

danny: i i, jess i understand more now, i do, but i dont know what to say. i have no idea what its like to be you right now, but i know that if you let us- or atleast me in, talk to me, explain try make me see than ill know how to help....

she nodded.

jess: ca- can we just forget it please? it was a moment of weekness, i realise it was wrong, im over it...

danny: je-

jess: please?

i just nod as she looked up at me.

jess: please dont tell anyone...

i swallow.

jess: who?

-

-

jess: danny?!

danny: holly... ok, i told holly, i wanted to know if she knew where you were...

jess: so what did you tell her?!

danny: i asked if she had seen you, and she said no was something wrong and i said no but she got it out of me... its fine she said she wouldnt tell anyone else...

she looked down, now more in an ashamed way. i moved next to her and she rests her head on my shoulder. we sat in silence, what are we going to do? this cancer is a relationship suicide... jess was soon asleep but i didnt wake her i just lay her on the sofa and go make so food. i just make some simple pasta...

_______next morning_______

jess is sitting up the island twiddling the bottoms of her jumper. i place a cup of coffee infront of her and sat oppsite.

danny: jessie, i know your going to say no or not want to but im gunna get you some help yeah?

jess: i, i dont need help...