The Boss' Nerd

His Pain

Richard was surprised to see that Maine was still on his side.  Nakatulog din ito katulad niya.  Along the way, nagkapalit na sila ng position, ito na ang nakasandal sa balikat niya.  He can't help but stare at her.  He also wonder kasi sa kabila ng hindi komportableng position, he felt he rested well.  Unlike before na parang he can't sleep kung hindi siya pagod na pagod or nakainom! He was about to take some unruly hair off her face, she stirred.  He almost stop breathing para hindi tuluyang magising but apparently dahil siguro sa uncomfortable position, tuluyang na itong nagising...

"Hey...!" Maine said upon seeing him looking at her.
"Ummm, hi...!" Richard hesitantly said.
"How are you?" Maine said, looking at him straight in the eye.  Richard was so surprised of the overwhelming feeling he suddenly felt that he can't help but teared up again.  He recall all the pain he felt earlier after talking to Hus dad, his disgust for acting like an asshole!

"Shhh... Shhh... Its okay! Iiyak mo lang, eventually you will be fine, not now, not today or the coming days, but eventually you will, and we will be at your side until that day comes... Shhhh...!" Maine hugged him and coaxed him to stop crying.  Her voice gentle. 

"Why would it have to happen to us? Why Mom, of all people, bakit hindi yung mga masasamang tao na lang? Bakit si Mommy pa?" Richard asked, still hugging her.

"Why Baste? Why when he still have a future to look up to? Why of all sickness, yun pang pinakamasakit? Same questions  in my mind but only HIM can answer that! I can't answer for HIM to appease the pain, your pain, my pain.  But one thing is what u have been trying to do right now..." Maine said.

"What?" Richard asked.

"ACCEPT... Whatever the reasons our Lord God decided on this, we cannot know the reasons unless HE himself spoke to us.  I just need to accept things no matter how hard it is for me.  I need to brave this coz I know I will learn something from this or eventually HE will answer my whys when HIS right time comes!" Maine said.

"My mom was taken from me without giving me a fair warning? At least I have prepared myself.  At least I could have made her time worth before dying...!" Richard said.

"I have been battling Baste's disease for how many months before he said goodbye.  Did you think it is very easy for me to let him go when his time comes? Do you think you will let her go if the time comes? Naranasan ko din yung sinasabi mong sana binigyan ako ng sapat na oras para mapasaya ko siya, but still noong mawala siya, kinaya ko bang pakawalan siya?  I almost lost myself with him, right there d then... And the feelings is worst!" Maine said.

"But Baste is only your brother by choice, kaya mas madali sa iyo ang mag- let go, unlike me mommy ko siya, kasama ko na siya mula noong nabuhay ako, kaya napakadali...!" Richard said.

"Just because he was not blood-related hindi ko siya minahal ng husto? Just because hindi ko siya na kasama Simula noong maliit pa siya, hindi ko na siya minahal ng husto? Mali ka doon... I was there during his dark times.  I have him in his worst state and nothing can beat the pain of seeing your loved one in pain.  Kasama niya ako sa lahat ng laban niya mula noong nagkasakit siya.  The pain of his treatment, the injections, the transfusion, I've been there... Na witness ko lahat, at mas lalo ko siyang minahal dahil doon.  Kasi lumalaban siya! Kakayanin mo bang makita ang sakit sa mukha ng iyong ina habang ginagamot siya? Maybe she is trying to protect you dahil alam niya, na hindi mo kakayanin! Yung sigaw, yung sakit, you will falter and then maninisi ka ng mga tao dahil doon.  She don't want you to experience those kasi alam niya may magbabago sa pinakamamahal niyang anak.  At iyon ang hindi niya kayang makita!" Maine said.

Richard suddenly thought of something his mother said to him before...

"I love you son and I hope you will always be the same person I have brought you throughout your life.  I don't want you to change for the worst only for the better!"

Richard broke down again as if hearing his mom's advice.  Maling-mali siya sa mga ginawa niya, kilala talaga siya ng mommy niya kaya even before she tried to protect him, apparently nagpadala siya sa galit at sakit ng pagkawala ng ina. 

Maine, still hugging him, while he is crying his heart out on her shoulders said...

"Pull yourself up, make your mom proud again.  Be the man she want you to be! Let go of the pain, let go... Accept, forgive and stand up! We will be here...!"

Richard felt something that made him chill, the kind of chill you felt when you were surrounded by too much love and he heard someone whisper...

"Son, stand up! Let me see you smile again.  Let me see my real son!"

He felt being embraced by his mom again after a long time.  And he felt peace... He closed his eyes again kasabay ng pagbanggit ng mga katagang...

"I promise, Mom... I promise to become your "son" again!".

Maine heard and felt his words and smiled...

"Your family is waiting for you... Balik ka na!"

"Thank you..." Richard said and finally succumbed again to rest.  Nakatulog ulit siya sa balikat ni Maine...

"Sleep, little big boy! Rest your heart and come back...!" Maine said before drowsing off as well...

"Kuya? Ate Maine?" Sabi ni Tom, trying to wake them up.  It's already six in the evening. 

"Huh? Awww...!" Maine said, namanhid yata ang balikat niya sa pagkakaunan ni Richard. At dahil sa biglang pagsigaw nagising na din si Richard.
"Huh? Anong masakit?" Richard immediately fix himself and checked Maine para alamin kung bakit ito umaray!
"Nangalay lang balikat ko, Boss! Tom, anong oras na? You have an idea?" Maine asked Tom para madistract siya.
"Magsisimula na po yung evening prayer, Ate! Pinatatawag na po kayo ni Madre!" Tom said, excitedly.
"Ay, ganun ba? Let's go?? Tanong ni Maine kay Richard while getting Tom's hand. 
"Yap, let's go!" Richard said, stood up and together with Tom and Maine walked towards the chapel...

Both were smiling... A genuine smile...