5SOS Preferences and Imagines

#22 Amnesia - Song Preference

All in his POV!

Luke: I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted, I thought about our last kiss, how it felt, the way you tasted

After a few weeks of being broken up from who I thought was the one for me, I decided to take a drive and try and clear my head. However, that didn't work. Wherever I drove to or by, it would always remind me of her. Whether it was the little café shop, or the supermarket, or the street lamp across the street. One of the main ones was a few places we would end up getting drunk and then we would just walk around and laugh our heads off at absolutely nothing. She would be all cute and giggly from the alcohol and I wouldn't be able to take my eyes of her the entire time. Drunk or not. Our flat, well my flat now, was the worst for me to stay at because everything happened there. When we told each other we liked and loved each other. When we first hugged. When we first kissed. When we first got drunk. When we first did the deed. But, it was always the place we shared our last kiss before she left. The way her lips were soft and tasted of her strawberry lipstick. It was only a small peck, but I will hold to the memory of that forever because that was the last time I held her and the last time I saw her.

Calum: Sometimes I start to wonder, was it just a lie? If what we had was real, how could you be fine? 'Cause I'm not fine at all

I haven't left my bedroom for about 2 weeks now. The only thing I have done is go to the toilet to either pee or throw up, or I would go and get a little snack. I have hardly eaten as well and I could tell that I was losing a lot of weight, but I couldn't bring myself to actually eat food. The boys have come to check on me a few times, and they would try to encourage me to eat and get up and go out, but none of it would ever work. I would always end up looking at old pictures of us on my phone and then I would check her twitter. Call me a stalker if you want, but I just want to know if she is feeling as broken as I am, but there was never anything there. When I would see nothing there, I would always end up thinking if anything in our relationship actually meant anything to her. Like when she told me she loved me or when she said that I will always be the one for her. Clearly she didn't mean any of it, because if she did, how could she be fine with everything? How can she go about her day and have a smile on her face, while I'm moping about in my bed. How could she be fine? Because I am defiantly not fine at all.

Michael: I wish that I could wake up with amnesia, and forget about these stupid little things. Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you, and the memories I never can escape

 I really hated myself at the moment. After a few months of being broken up from the love of my life, I still cry myself to sleep every night. The boys are worrying about me because I haven't been paying attention in the recording or song writing sessions and the label was getting annoyed with me. It wasn't my fault that everything reminded me of her. She always loved the song we wrote, so whenever we write songs, I always think of her. She loved how I play guitar, but now I can't really go near one without remembering her. She loved my tattoos, so now I can't look at myself because when I see the tattoos that remind me of her. I always remember the little things we would do with each other, like walks in the park, cuddling on the couch, holding hands, hugging, cooking dinners. All of it. Whenever I go to bed at night and cry, I am always remembering what it was like to fall asleep with her beside me, wrapped up in my arms. Then I remember all the memories we shared at breaks my heart more and more each night. Every time I fall asleep, I wish that I could wake up with amnesia because then it won't hurt me. I won't have all these memories breaking me every day and night; I would be able to move on.

Ashton: If today I woke up with you right beside me, like all of this was just some twisted dream. I'd hold you closer than I ever did before, and you'd never slip away

 Every day, I break that little bit more, thinking of her and how she is right now and even where on this earth she is. I always fall asleep and have this cold, dull air surround me and it lingers there the whole night through until I wake up the next day and it returns that night again. Whenever I am asleep, my dreams are always about her and all the memories and laughs we shared together, but when I wake up, reality crashes down on me and I realise she isn't coming back. I just want to be able to wake up with her in my arms again like it used to be and then I would be able to change everything that has happened so she would be able to stay by my side forever. I would hold her tighter and closer to me than ever before, to make sure that I wouldn't lose her again and to keep her forever. However, in reality, that would never happen. The love of my life will never return and stay by my side like she promised. She will always have a place in my heart. Actually, she will always have my entire heart because I love with all of it and I always will. 

 OH MY FREAKING GOD! This book has nearly reached 10,000 reads!!! You do not know how happy I am! I know it may not seem like a lot compared to other books, but I thought this would only get about 100 reads and no votes. But now I have 9k nearly 10k reads and just over 200 votes! Thank you for reading and voting it really means a lot to me! If you would like to read my Michael fanfic then go to my profile, it's called He's My Bully and tell me what you think. THANK YOU AGAIN!!!!!! LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!! :D x