Unedited
"We're sorry. We couldn't save him."
"What caused this." I said choking back my tears.
"Yes, we traced alcohol in your system, but that did not cause this. Have you been dealing with excessive stress?"
"I wouldn't call it stress. I was going through a dark period in my life." I played with my fingers.
"Whatever If was, caused you to not be able to take in the nutrients to support this baby's life. Did you throw up a lot?"
"Well, Yea."
"What I'm tryin to explain is that you didn't eat the necessary amount of vitamins and nutrients to continue to support this baby."
"So its my fault." I sat back avoiding eye contact.
She didn't say anything, but I already knew her answer. "I'll call in your visitors."
I've been here for hours. It must be almost midnight.
"Hey mamas..." Kat came in and hugged me.
I smiled weakly. Trippie came in and sat in the chair beside me. Billie stood by the Kat leaning on the wall.
Ski walked in then him. Jahseh.
He had tear stains on his face. I hate that this is all my fault. My baby is gone because me.
He's hurting because of me.
"No, stop crying.." Billie walked towards me and hugged me too.
"This isn't your fault. Don't go thinking it is." Trippie tried to comfort me.
"It is. You didn't hear what she said."
"We did. And it's not your fault. You had nobody to help you." Ski defended.
"I didn't tell any of y'all I was pregnant." I mumbled.
I noticed jah was avoiding everything about this conversation. He still had tears running down his face and he was looking out of the door.
"I'm so sorry." I cried out. Jah turned to me.
"Can y'all leave for a minute." He said without breaking eye contact.
Everybody got up and left. It was just me and Jahseh..
"This is all my fault. I did this. I killed our baby." I cried.
"I should've been there for you." Jah simply said with his hands in his pockets.
"You didn't know."
"I don't mean just because of our kid. I mean for everything. I should've never cheated. You were and are the best thing that has ever happened to me bruh! And I fucked it all up."
"J-"
"Would've this shit happened if I was there? I would've helped you through everything. We could've been at home chilling on your bed right now. Not being in a hospital mourning our kid. If I just stayed faithful, we wouldn't have broken up. We wouldn't be here!"
I sobbed listening to him. He's taking the blame for everything when it's not his fault. I've been with jah long enough to know he takes everything to heart. He's really sensitive.
"Jah please stop."
"No. You know it's my fault. Tell me it's my fault." He cried out.
"It's not Jah.." I shook my head.
"Fucking tell me!" He screamed.
"Aye Chill." Ski ran inside and pulled him back.
"Come on. Tell me."
