I'm trying to feed him some of my food. I cooked some papa con carne molida. My feelings low-key getting hurt.
He just stared at me, almost like trying to read me.
"Whats up?" I lifted his chin. "You want some?"
He shook his head no. "Mm-mm."
"Alright. Can mommy and the baby have some then?"
Ayvatar jumped onto the couch and plotted beside Jamal.
"Yess mama." Jamal petted Ayvatar.
I know a child at his age can barely form words, I just write out what he means to say. He stumbles on them like a child would.
I ate the spoonful.
"You so handsome, bubba. I know you'll make a girl very happy. Or boy." I played with his feet. "I just want you to not have to go through any of the the shi- stuff. Stuff. Any of us went through." I raised my eyebrow. "You hear me?"
"Hide him from the world. The world is the fucked up place." Kat said. "Cmere mama." She held her hand out to me. "I know you can't get up by yourself."
"You think I have to tell him all the shit Jahseh did to me when he's older?"
"No. If you choose not to."
"Honesty builds a better man." Matteo muttered as he grabbed an oreo from the package on the dinner table.
"Dada!" Jamal squealed.
"Oh. No. No no no no no." I mumbled to myself. I grabbed Kat's hand and stood up.
Matteo chuckled. "Damn. No, Jamal. I'm Matteo."
Billie walked into the living room with Amoy in her arms. "Oh shit. Might wanna not tell Jahseh." She laughed.
"Sowwy mama!" Jamal said with his fingers in his mouth.
"Take them out." I leaned down to his level. He wrapped his arms around my neck and hugged me, getting distracted by my hair.
"Whats he gonna do?" Matteo snickered, replying to Billie.
I snapped my fingers. "Aye! Don't. Just shush."
I need to stop any trouble from brewing. I don't want anymore things weighing on me.
I already got my relationship, my safety, my son, my pregnancy, my living situation and the internet on my mind.
Jahseh refuses to talk to me about the Geneva situation.
The last I heard was that they didn't trace anything from my phone. And Jahseh hasn't experienced anything whilst hes living alone.
Which seems un-fucking-likely. If she attacked me for him, I'm surprised she hasn't raped him.
"Kila."
"What?"
"Your phone's going off."
I picked it up and looked through my notifications.
Instagram _____________________
666kila_bitch
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