God's an Adventurer: Volume II

Chapter 71- Remorse

"Dark... so dark... I... I can't see anything..."

Cedius found himself immersed in complete obscurity. He desperately tried reaching out into the void of darkness but instantly was surprise to find he could not move. In fact, once he tried stretching his arms and legs out, there was a lack of response from any of his limbs. He could feel himself about to panic but once more was taken aback by the lack of response by his body.

"What's happening... where am I?"

He tried talking, hoping someone would hear him out but there was no sound that escaped his lips. The feeling of being trapped in this state made him shiver. Still, the feeling quickly subsided and was replaced by a feeling of emptiness and indifference.

"Can... anyone hear me?"

[Ooh, my poor child.]

The voice that replied to his question echoed in his mind and made him frantically search in the void for its source.

"Who are you? W-where am I?"

[Don't you remember?]

"Remember?"

A giggle, all too innocent and yet terrifying at the same time made him feel a cold rush inside that faded as fast as it had come.

"That voice... the girl?"

[So you remember me?]

"How...where am I?"

[Look closer.]

What did she mean, look closer? His mind ran through the events previously before finding himself in this situation.

He had ridden in with the rest of the front line towards the tribe, broken off towards the sides as per ordered. It was just in a matter of seconds, almost a blink of an eye as the warriors from that tribe had looked in fear at him approaching. His wolf, cutting them down, his oversight of the situation as he moved in further, found more of them and just as easily taken them out. Then-

[Almost there]

-then the frighten look of the people as he slaughtered a few small families who had stayed behind. They hadn't expected it clearly, for the enemy to appear so fast before them but there he was. In just a matter of seconds it was over, nothing but corpses in the ground.

[Keep going]

"No, I..."

He snapped out of it at that point, looking around at his work he felt sick, a feeling of guilt crashed over him, he wanted to run, but knew there was a job to finish. Then she showed, someone to see the coldblooded display of violence before him. It had been too much to accept the reality that he had murdered a group of innocent people. Her gaze only amplified that feeling, he did what he had to do.

"No... I'm not..."

He had, he had reached out for his spear and pointed it towards himself. The feeling of guilt had become too much and so he had begun carving at his own chest, all the meanwhile screaming in pain and the horror of his own actions. The warm blood that flooded from his own body and the sound of his own flesh being cut at with his own weapon returned to his head. Then finally, darkness all the while, the face of his onlooker etched in the corner of his eyes.

"...What did you do to me?"

[Nothing.]

"Lies... why would I do this to myself otherwise?"