All I Wanted Was You (Part 2)

I'll Fix This...: Part 3 (smut warning & mature content)

Dean POV

Sam had been quiet ever since Jae died. He hardly talked unless you spoke directly to him and he didn't ever sleep, he was consumed with finding Jae and it had been months, we enlisted everyone's help in finding a way to get her back, but no one was finding anything.

Sam was sitting at the library table, going through the hundredth book in the library to try and find something on Jae, he hardly ate and was starving himself, he was getting unhealthily skinny and he didn't take any breaks between hunts and research.

I was trying everything to just get him to talk to me or at least take a break but he wouldn't listen to me or Cas or even Mom, he wouldn't stop looking and it was tearing him apart.

He hadn't seen BJ in months, he called him on his second birthday and would get calls from Jody and the girls when BJ wanted to talk to him.

Sam would tell the little guy he was going to get his Mom home and he wasn't going to stop looking, he was keeping to his word, but he couldn't take much more of the way he was going about it. He'd starve himself or have a psychological breakdown, and it didn't help that he was having a drinking problem just to keep his mind off her when he was trying to find a way to get her home.

I'd had to burry her body myself because she had started to rot up the medical room and Sam refused to burn her corpse.

I wasn't dealing well with this either, I was losing hope that we'd ever find something and every night I missed her more than anything, I kept it together for Sam, but when I went to my room for the night I could hardly keep myself in check, I felt so guilty and hated myself for making that deal and for going on that case with Jae, not knowing what we were walking into.

Jack was gloomy most of the day, he'd bottled up his emotions since Jae left and they were weighing on him, she was the one he'd gone to for support and advice, he'd vent to her and just seek comfort in her being there. But now that she was gone he didn't know who to go to.

Even Cas was different, I'd catch him just staring off into space some days, thinking. She was his best friend, and he'd told her things no one else knew, things about how he felt and what he thought.

She was all our support, the much needed woman in our lives that left and with her had gone our security and level ground. We were all on a downward slope, each day getting worse until one of these days we'd all come crashing down and explode all over each other in a fit of pain, rage, and sorrow.

Sam POV

I was exhausted but I didn't want to sleep and starving but I didn't feel like eating, everything about me was polar opposites and it was painful to just breathe every day with how much pain I was in, mentally, physically, emotionally, all of it hurt.

I sat at the library table as I exhausted all the books in the library with research to try and find a way to save my girl from the pit.

I hadn't slept in days, everyone else had gone to bed and Cas had gone off somewhere to try and get his mind off things.

I rested my head on the table as I closed my eyes, just thinking of her beautiful face, her eyes a stormy blue so deep I could get lost in them whenever I wanted, and the way she would smile with her perfect and white teeth and the little dimples that would appear on her cheeks. And most of all the way she made me feel, safe and secure, like nothing bad could ever happen, like I was everything to her and she would never stop loving me, how I could be myself around her and she would love every piece of me.

I slowly drifted off to sleep from pure exhaustion and started dreaming of her.

I laid on top of the sheets of our bed in the bunker as she walked in the door with some coffee for both of us, closing the door behind her.