All I Wanted Was You (Part 2)

With Family Like This...: Part 2

Jae POV

I sat with Jack as we researched, he was still lost in thought, trying to recover from the nightmare he'd had.

It was five in the morning and we had a few hours to kill before we'd be able to go out and actually ask people questions.

"Hey, Jae?" Jack asked, looking up at me as I kept looking on my laptop.

I looked up at him, "Yeah?" I asked.

"Do you have nightmares a lot?... Cas says you are up a lot in the night, that's when he talks to you most, is that why?" He said.

I nodded, "Yeah, that's why." I said.

"How often do you have them?" He asked.

I sighed, closing my laptop a little so I could see him better over it.

"Almost every night." I said.

He nodded, his eyebrows furrowed as he looked at the table top, concentrating.

"That must be hard for you." He said.

I nodded, "Yeah, it is."

"What do you dream about?... If you don't mind me asking." He said.

I shook my head, "No, it's alright..." I paused to gather my thoughts, closing my laptop completely and setting it aside as Jack put my iPad he'd been using on top of it.

"I dream about a lot of things, the night my family died, when I was put in a psych ward for the year after that, the people I hurt when I didn't have a soul, hell, the things I've done to hurt Sam and Dean, and the times I failed them and you and Cas, what I saw when I was put into a coma by Lucifer, what I did just a week ago when I told you about what my soulless self did to you all before I changed it... But I don't always dream about things that have happened to me, sometimes it's things that I'm afraid of, things that could hurt you, Sam, and Dean, and Cas. And sometimes my nightmares aren't even about any of you, sometimes they're just a dark feeling of fear or dread or pain." I said.

"I've been having nightmares too... About Lucifer, my father... He hurts you, Cas, Dean, Sam, and BJ, and I can't stop him." He said.

I nodded, listening intently as he looked at the table.

"I never had nightmares before he took my grace. And now it's like I can't even get a little rest from what I'm scared of when I'm awake..." He said, his words trailing off as a few tears came to his eyes of frustration.

"I know how it feels, like everything's already going so wrong and you can't even get a little break when you're asleep. I felt, at least in my own way, what you're feeling now when I was thirteen. After I was possessed and my family died everything just fell apart. It felt like every day I was just in a fight to stay alive, fighting with myself and how I felt and everything around me that used to make so much sense. It was hard to breathe at times even, and sometimes I still feel that even now." I said.

He looked at me, "I feel like that too... How did you get through it?" He asked.

"I just kept fighting and eventually it just faded away, I got a hold on my life and won that war I was battling inside me and it all got better, but sometimes we all need to feel that again so we remember why we are holding the high ground, and why we fought so hard to survive." I said.

He looked at me, his eyes sad as he started to cry softly, "Don't you ever get tired of fighting? All of you, Sam, Dean, Cas, and you, you always seen so determined, and I can barely handle one thing without wanting to stop."

I frowned softly, looking at him and the obvious pain in his eyes as his tears slowly flowed.

"Jack, we've all been tired of fighting, and some of us feel that every day, most of us do. But we were given the lives we were and we were born to fight, Sam and Dean, Cas and I, we've been fighting for years, we've saved the world and we've saved as many people as we could along the way to it, we were born and bread to be who we are today, fighters. Some days it hurts so bad we can hardly breathe, but that's when we are there for each other. Jack, you are part of this family, and we look after our own, so we will be here for you when you feel like you can't go on, like we've been there for each other so many times." I paused before continuing.

"And on the days you can't go on you stop, take a break for a few days, but don't run, if you run things get worse even if it feels like they'll get better. And when you're a Winchester, running isn't an option, we stand and we fight to the last man if we have to, and we'd fight and die for you Jack. We all love you, I love you, so don't run, and don't quit. Lean on us, because we're here for you." I paused again.

"I know Sam and Dean, they're hard on you, especially Dean, but that's the way they were raised. They were raised on tough love so that's all they know how to give to someone who's like a son to them. But they love you, so much. And Cas, he's never going to give up on you, never, because you're his son and he wants the best for you. He told me he wished you'd go talk to him like you talk to me, he just wants to be there for you and help you, I want you to keep talking to me, but before you talk to me, talk to Cas unless he doesn't have an answer, or unless it's something you want only me to hear, okay?" I asked softly.

He nodded, sniffling slightly as he brushed away his tears.

I got up and put my arms out for Jack as he stood and walked into my embrace, hugging me tightly back.

"I love you." He said softly through our tight hug.

I smiled to myself, "I love you too, Jack."