All I Wanted Was You (Part 2)

Don't Go...: Part 5

Sam POV

I had been thinking about Jae for a while now, rethinking my anger with her because of what I'd felt when the Crocotta impersonated her voice, but I was still trying to be man, god did I want to be mad at her.

I'd almost called her the other night before nearly beating myself up about even thinking about it. Why was I wanting to go back to her so bad?

Cas POV

I was going to tell Sam and Dean what was on my mind about Jae, both of them were rethinking their harsh anger toward her but they needed another push, and Jae needed them desperately.

I'd called her last night and she'd broke down crying again. She could hardly carry on like this. She told me she missed us all so much and she hated herself, she told me she would have ended her life if she only could. She was lonely and heartbroken and so filled with regret that she could hardly breathe. My heart broke for her, she deserved so much more than that, she deserved to be happy because she'd made sure I was so many times before. And even though she told me never to tell Sam and Dean about her or give them a piece of my mind I couldn't let her suffer anymore or exile herself to those feelings of hopelessness and sorrow any longer.

Sam and dean were sitting in the map room after Sam had put BJ to bed.

I walked in and stood at the head of the table where they sat, looking over a case for Mary.

Dean glanced at me and then looked back to the book he had open on the table.

"Yeah Cas, what's up?" He asked as he flipped another page.

"I need to speak with you both." I said.

"Okay, what?" He asked.

"It's about Jae." He said.

I saw Sam visibly grit his teeth, shifting in his seat as he looked uncomfortable at me saying her name.

Dean looked at Sam, unsure if this would set him off or not and then turned to look at me, a touch annoyed.

"What about Jae?" He asked.

"I need to do what she would in this situation... I need to 'put you straight' as she would say." I said. Looking from Sam to Dean and back again.

"Cas, I'm pretty sure there's nothing you could say to 'put us straight'... We're the ones in the right here, if you need to put anyone straight then it's Jae. You've been her gossip buddy ever since she left haven't you? What's she convinced you of? Huh? That we're thinking of this all wrong?" Dean asked.

"Gossip? No. She's been coming to me for advice and support, and she convinced me of nothing... In fact you should know that she only talks about you both in a very loving and forgiving manner. She doesn't blame you for any of this, she blames herself. She knows you are 'in the right' and she wants nothing but the best for both of you." I said.

"Really?" Dean asked, trying to act unconvinced, but more shocked surprise coming across than anything else.

"Yes. And she's done more for you in the last two weeks than you would know." I said.

"Like what?" Sam asked, his jaw still tense as he looked at me.

"She stayed away to give you space, let you heal from this instead of seeing her and having your emotional process start all over again. She made sure you'd know where she was at all times through calling me, she didn't just cut all ties. And she's been putting you first, suffering through more emotion than she's felt in years just so you two can feel happy. She put aside her own feelings and happiness for you two. And when you brought BJ back here she didn't come see him, she wanted you to be happy by whatever means possible and if that meant she'd hardly ever see her own child then she was willing to sacrifice that, for you and BJ." I said.