All I Wanted Was You (Part 2)

Don't Go...: Part 1

Sam POV

I'd given Jae her ring back last night and she'd been lost in thought ever since she got back, she was quiet and serious.

I pulled her into our room after she made dinner for us and we'd cleaned up.

I pulled her with me as I sat on our bed, looking at her as I pulled her toward me.

She straddled my lap and sat down on my legs, putting her hands on my chest as I put my hands on her waist.

"Hey, you've been quiet, what's on your mind?" I asked softly.

She looked at me, brushing my hair out of my face as she looked down at me from where she sat on my lap.

"I've just been thinking about what happened and what I should do about it... And I've been thinking about us." She said softly.

"What about us?" I asked as I ran my hands down her thighs tenderly.

"I've been thinking about what the part of me without a soul said to you when I gave you my ring..." She said, looking nervous and a little worried.

"What about it?" I asked softly, feeling a little worried myself.

"Well, some of what she said was true, not the part about me not loving you, I've always loved you and I always will, but everything always tries to tear us apart and I'm discovering things about myself that are much more than you agreed to when marrying me... What I'm saying is that maybe this was never meant to last too long, maybe there was some mistake when we were put together, and if we weren't then maybe things would be better that way..." I looked at her, slowly standing as she slid off my legs to stand in front of me, pain and anger were fighting against my feeling to hear her out, but I couldn't listen to that right now. I was angry.

"So what?" I asked softly, still trying to hear her out to the end.

"I want to be with you, that's all I want, but I just want you to think about it yourself, sincerely think about it... And I think it would be best if we weren't living in the same place for you to do that, so we can both just think of every detail and not be distracted." She said.

"So you're leaving..." I said, my anger taking over now.

She nodded softly, "I don't want to distract you, I want you to really think about it and get past your feelings..." She said.

"Jae..." I clenched my fists, my jaw tightening, she was leaving me again. I couldn't take this anymore.

"You are just like her, you know that?" I said, bitterness in my tone.

Jae looked at me, confused and worried at my obvious anger.

"What? Who?" She asked.

"You are just like her, the part of you without a soul. You do just as many messed up things as she does, and the things you do are even worse, you know that it hurts and you do it anyway... You know what? I was wrong, you are a monster." I said, looking her dead in the eye, not caring about the bite and hurtful words I was throwing her way.

She looked at me, shock and pain in her eyes that I'd put there.

"Sam..." She said softly.

"You made a promise to me, more than one that you've broke so many times, like how you'd never hurt me, and you'd never leave me, that you'd always be here for me, you've broken those promises over and over and I've given you chance after chance but I'm done." I said.

"I guess she was right, I'd rather be on my own too if us being together means more pain, more of this, more of you." I spat.

"Sam, you don't mean that." She said softly.

I looked at her, rage consuming me. I didn't care if I hurt her now, she'd hurt me so much I didn't care if I caused her some pain.

"Oh no, I do. I mean every damn word!" I said my voice increasing to a shout.

She looked stunned still and I shook my head to myself, grabbing the lamp on the desk behind her and throwing it against the wall as I gave a loud yell of rage.

She jumped and I looked at her again.

"All you've done is lie to me Jae! And I'm done with letting you use me like this! I never lied to you! I've kept all my promises! And I'm done giving you one hundred percent when you only give me fifty, and that's on a good day for you! So yeah, I think I've thought through this whole plan of yours and I don't want to be with you anymore! So this time I'll be the one giving you this!" I shouted, taking my wedding ring off my finger and throwing it at her feet.

She stared at me in shock and pain, a few tears surfacing.

I scoffed, "Tears? Really? Do you know how many times I cried when you broke your promises? Too many! Now it's time you felt what you've made me feel every time you left!" I shouted in her face.

"Now this time you leave, don't you dare come back!" I shouted.

I took her arm harshly and walked her to the door, pushing her out and slamming the door in her face.

I didn't even feel bad, I was too angry to even care that I'd made her cry, and right now I didn't even love her, I was just filled with rage and I didn't care anymore.

Jae POV

I stared at the door to Sam's room, it used to be mine too but it wasn't anymore, I hadn't expected him to react like that, but he was right about it all, and he had the right to treat me like that and I didn't blame him for doing it either.

I turned to see Cas and Dean standing in the hall, looking concerned and confused.

"What happened?" Dean asked.

"I'm leaving him." I said evenly, that wasn't the whole truth behind it, I hadn't wanted to leave him in the first place, I just wanted to have a break so he could think about us being together and if it would be worth it anymore. But I guess this was the best way to break it to them too, state plainly what was happening.

And I'd blame it all on me so they would be mad with me and not Sam. I wanted the best for him. I wasn't mad with him and I was okay with him being mad with me. It was better this way. All the blame on me and all of them on Sam's side, I'd go it alone now, I'd still keep in touch somehow, even though Sam wouldn't want to hear from me and neither would Dean, Cas would probably be the one I'd talk with most, but he'd be mad at first too. But I'd make sure to not go off the grid to them, no matter what they said to me or how much they decided to hate me I didn't care, I'd still be here for them if they needed me.

Dean reacted exactly how I knew he would, he exploded, cursing and throwing every name in the book at me, I took it all, not caring to hide my tears.

I left, not taking any of the cars in the bunker, I'd walk to the motel in town, my backpack of weapons the only think I carried.

I cried as I walked, I'd just made the people I loved most hate me. And everything they accused me of was true. All of it. I was a liar and I didn't deserve family like them, they'd never hurt me on purpose until now and now I deserved it. They'd never broken a promise to me, not one they meant to, and I'd broken so many. A monster like me didn't deserve such good people like them.