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Growing up in a house where the violence was present like the oxygen you breathe, you become used to it and ignore it. But after you escape that hell, it becomes like a little demon and haunts you.

Like the little angel whispering guides in your ear, helping you, that little demon is clouding your mind, turning you into what you tried to escape.

The violence itself.

All you know, act on and find release in its violence. And when you finally feel something else besides numbness and anger— when you feel love for the first time...

It freaks you out. You think you're going crazy, that there is something's wrong with you. You don't know what to do, how to act, how to think. Is it right that way or the other? Should I listen to that little organ in my chest or head?

Your mind is in only one place. That one person.

Where are they? Are they feeling good? Did someone hurt them? Do they like me back? I know they don't feel anything for me so why is my heart slamming in my chest and my mind wandering at them, are they thinking about me?

And you get used to it. To those weird flips your stomach does, how your heart beats faster, your body buzzing with happiness? Excitement?

You don't even know what you feel. But you know, damn well, that you need them.

After some time you become obsessed, thinking that person is the air itself. Without seeing them, that smile, those eyes or just feeling their presence makes you go crazy, like a maniac. You need them today so you can keep living tomorrow.

And that's what happened to all of them.

To Chan, Changbin, Minho, Hyunjin, Jisung, Felix, Seungmin and Jeongin.

They all became obsessed. Going mad because they experienced love for the first time.

It was weird, new, different. They never loved before but they knew, they have found their other half.

The missing piece.

Yes, each one of them controlled their actions and feelings in another way through deny, affection, sexual actions/words and hate.

And there was Felix, sitting in his room, balled in a dark, cold corner.

Pulling his hair, an anxiety attack shaking him with all its power after a nightmare. His chest was rising and falling fast, puffs of cold air leaving his lips, being seen rising in the air.

It was so cold.

All he could think of was Hyunjin. How he felt calmer just feeling his little touch.

Oh, how Hyunjin was all he needed now. Just feeling his presence calmed him. But he wasn't there. He had to go on a mission a week ago.

He started mumbling weakly 'stop' at the voices screaming at him, swinging back and forth.

The door opened slightly, someone poking their head in the room. He was confused, why Felix wasn't sleeping? It was 2 in the morning and he hadn't had a reason to be in the lab or basement.

He entered the room, looking around. Where are you?

He spotted something moving into a corner mumbling something. Felix raised his head, his eyes shining in the moonlight, the tears trapped, not wanting to fall.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Hyunjin walked towards Felix, crouching in front of him and taking him in his arms.

"Please help me" Felix muttered after he wrapped his arms around the older's neck and clinging to him.

Red ribbons || HyunlixWhere stories live. Discover now