Red ribbons || Hyunlix

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(listen to the song while you read the chapter) (Little Freak if it doesn't show up here)

"I love you"

His breath hitched and his body froze.

Something— no, someone, was screaming inside him. Say it back.

I love you too.

Say it.

He opened his mouth, no words coming out. His words were stuck in his throat, not wanting to get out. Felix had the feeling someone was squeezing his throat, trapping all the words that were about to be said.

Chain.

Chain stop.

No. It's not the time yet.

"I..." Felix whispered, feeling dizzy.

It felt strange... hearing someone tell him they feel something so deep for him. It felt like he was struck by lightning, waking him up but freezing him at the same time.

He was emotionally and physically abused for years that he forgot what it felt like to be loved— no, he had actually never experienced love.

He is doing it for pity.

No he doesn't.

Chain was screaming, telling Felix Hyunjin was lying, that he said it for pity.

Bokie was pleading, saying softly what she thought. You can see that he does, he truly does.

"Felix, stop" Hyunjin whispered softly, hugging the younger and holding his head and hands close to his chest, stopping him from shaking it, and biting his nails.

"I didn't say 'I love you' to hear it back. I said it to make sure you knew" he mumbled softly in the younger's hair, caressing his back.

After minutes of silence, Felix's hands balled into fists, holding tightly the older's shirt. He took a sharp breath, squeezing his eyes. "When—"

He looked at those brown orbs. The ones that held so much hate... considering what the younger thought, but it was pain, love.

"When was 'that night'?"

Hyunjin smiled sadly, pulling a blonde strand of hair behind his ear. "When we were 17"

Felix frowned, his mouth opening and closing a few times.

It felt unreal, unbelievable. Was he dreaming?

"5 years ago—" he exhaled the breath he was holding, shaking his head. He took Hyunjin's hand and started playing with his fingers, stopping when he saw the white tattoo on his ring finger.

"The bridge...?" "You don't remember, do you?" Felix shook his head making Hyunjin chuckle, running a hand over his face.

He inhaled deeply "That night you tried to kill yourself. For the first time" his voice broke, flashbacks from that night flashing again in his mind.

"How—" Felix started saying incoherent words, still in shock.

"If you loved me since then, why did you said and did all those things?" His eyes started getting glossy.

He couldn't understand. He was confused of what he felt, of the voices in his head, of everything.

The black haired pursed his lips, swallowing the lump forming in his throat. "I was stupid, I never felt something like that. I lived on the streets since I was 7, all I knew was that I had to survive and kill that bastard. I never knew or heard of love, feelings. I acted that way because that was the only way I knew to express what I felt" he slumped in his seat.

"And trust me when I tell you that during that time, I was ready to end it, in the same place, on the same night. But when I saw you, I promised myself even if I don't have the meal and roof I dreamed about for years, I will find you, to live another dream, a better one and I kept trying— and here we are now, filthy rich and hating each other"

They were at the highest point of the wheel, almost reaching the stars. "I broke you in the past. Please let me fix my mistakes and you in the present and future" Hyunjin breathed out.

"I'm like shattered glass, Hwang. If you try to stick together my broken pieces, I am not who I used to be." Felix muttered after some time, playing with the ring on his finger and counting the stars in the sky.

"I don't care, Felix. I will always love your broken pieces, every fucking crack and shiver. I love you as a whole, I love the glass you're made of, not by its old shape, but by its strength to be put together again even if pieces are missing or destroyed."

A tear rolled softly down the freckled boy's cheek as he looked up.

How did we get here?

Hyunjin sighed, turning around and cupping the boy's chin, pulling his face closer. "I understand if you don't want this, I get it but you have to know it. I couldn't keep it in me anymore"

His eyes scanned all of Felix's face. His eyes, lips, cheeks and every freckle like he will not see them again.

Felix placed his hand on the older's jaw and connected their lips, expressing everything he felt through that innocent kiss.

"I hate you so much because you give me so much hope" Felix breathed against the males lips before kissing them again, tasting the sweet lies from years ago.

Everything he said, every insult and threat was actually the opposite.

Fuck you Hwang, you're such an idiot.

Hyunjin smiled, relief washing over him. He was scared, but expected to be rejected.

They broke the kiss, hearing an awkward cough behind them. They started laughing, stepping out of the booth and walking slowly to the car.

"What now?" Felix asked, hugging with one hand the bear and her other one squeezing softly Hyunjin's. "What do you mean?" "What are we going to do, with our lives"

Hyunjin smiled, looking lovingly at the younger. "Just enjoy it. I think we should let destiny do its magic"

Felix hummed, hitting a rock. "My mother used to tell me that when someone will finally swim in the same waters I drowned in, I must say a specific phrase."

Hyunjin leaned against the door of the car, tilting his head and listening carefully to the younger's words.

"Raise me in the sky, happiness, and bang my head against the stars"

~

I wrote this while I listened to the song attached (I am literally obsessed with it) and some of it while I watched the Hyunlix live.

I couldn't sleep at all last night (I managed to sleep 1 hr) and their live was so relaxing...

Stay safe!

xoxo

~Saturn