A Dream Life With You

Chapter 85: Pre-Wedding 7.

Victoria looked down. Then she looked up and asked.

" How... How did you get out of this? How did you survive? Did you ever regret your decision after facing such consequences?"

Alice's eyes darkened and the pain was as clear as day in them.

" Who can survive that? It kills me! Every single day I want to die. I wish to die. I still want to die. All I wanted was to abandon breathing. I died that day Victoria! I really did. It's just that, Levi made a new me. The old me has died. I would exchange anything for my past to disappear. I desperately wished that I had died way before that incident. But what can I do... What can I do when I have no option... I want to totally break down but Levi doesn't let me. 

You know, sometimes I even resented you for saving me. I don't know how I am living... All I felt is like dying but I am alive. I tried suicide but no matter what I don't die. God doesn't seem to want me back. I fight myself every day to live. In the end, I just give up. I give up Victoria. Now all I am doing is letting myself breathe. I left my life in the hands of God. I have no will to do anything... "

Alice's tears streamed so fast. The dollar coaster was about to start but Alice was in a very bad emotional state.

Victoria had tears in her eyes too. They fell one after another.

" To be honest Alice, since that day, I always think that if the same thing happened to me, what would've I done. How would I survive? I think I may have died right at that moment. Maybe like you or worse than you. So that's why... That's why I asked you and always wondered if you would regret your decision or want to change it if you could... "

Alice cried without answering. Victoria hugged her as she couldn't bear to see that. Her tears also fell as she empathised with her. She still remembered how she felt the moment she entered that basement. No matter how brave she was, she was really scared of dying from the inside. 

She was never that scared of death because the death just ends everything. But that would not end her everything. It would've ended her soul. Her soul would've died. And it would be near impossible to bring it back.

She could see it clearly. Alice's soul had died long ago. Levi just found her new pieces as he searched for the broken parts of her old soul. No matter what, unless she got her soul back, it would not be possible for Alice to live like before ever again.

The roller coaster started. It fastened but Alice was so badly broken that it didn't affect her. If anything, Victoria also consoled her. From the start, it was shown that Victoria has the softest heart for women. Especially the ones like Alice. They never deserved that so all she ever wanted to do was to give them back their life. She had failed many times and that's why she wanted to save her.

She would feel useless and lose the purpose of her life had anything happened to Alice.

" Alice, I know I am not helping much but there is just one thing I would say!" Victoria talked loudly as they couldn't hear each other.

" Find yourself back. And the exact way to do that is to go back to yourself. Ask yourself. Who are you? Who were you? I will tell you... Alice, you are a strong woman. You are a policewoman. You fight against evil. And you know the fastest way to heal an emotional wound is to make sure the others won't go through the same thing. 

Remember how it felt to save a life. How did you feel when you saved lives? I bet that's the only thing that can heal you. I guess just remembering that emotion you forget is beginning to heal you, right?"

Victoria asked with tears in her eyes. However, she was smiling. Meanwhile, Alice had a stunned expression. Her tears were still in her eyes but they froze. A sudden gush of forgotten memories rushed into her mind.

Yeah, the feeling of saving others. Her job. It was her medicine. The one thing she never despised in her life and the one thing that never hurt her, was her job. Her job was her saviour. And if she can prevent what happened to her from happening to others, then she could live. That was a reason enough to make her live. After all, even if it was a bad woman, she would never allow her to go through such a thing. 

As a person with experience, she could say that the last thing she wanted was to see someone else go through this. One of the main reasons she was so thankful to Victoria was that she saved others from entering the same hell as her.