The Ludicrous Escapade Pt.3

Whac-A-Mole

Valentine clutched at his bleeding face, having narrowly missed a deadly blow. He was thankful to have brought out D4C nearly immediately at the time of the attack. He was confident his Stand's speed and strength could match Diego even in his transformed state.

Diego leapt onto the back of a chair. "I'll gouge your organs out. Actions like slamming you against a wall or crushing you between my fists... I will do no more. Because of what I learnt, I won't jam you between anything. I'll cut your body apart and splatter the floor with your entrails in short order."

You nodded along. The description of what he wanted to do was a bit on the graphic side, but you could get behind what he was saying.

If possible, Valentine glared even harder at Diego. "Were you the one who told all those things to (Y/N)?"

Diego cocked his head to the side, not sure what the President was referring to. But he decided to agree, anyway. He frankly quite enjoyed ticking him off. "Yes, of course it was me." He made a show of blowing you a kiss. "Isn't that right, darling?"

"Oh, yes. Of course." You didn't mind playing along with his shenanigans.

As Diego dove forward to attack Valentine again, the President dashed behind a door, trying to slam the door shut on himself.

But Hot Pants was already there waiting. Her arm had slipped through the lock with the help of her Stand and pushed against the wall, stopping Valentine's plan. "I won't let you do something like this, either."

"Are you really just trying to run away?" You watched him try to dive under a chair but you kicked it away from him. "You're like a sewer rat scrambling away from the sunlight."

"For him to try and use old JoJo's technique in such a way..." Wamuu shook his head in disapproval.

Diego then knocked aside the table, the water pitcher getting flung up into the air. Hot Pants ripped away the curtains.

With all of you cornering him against the wall, the Brando took the honor of slicing open the President's throat. "You're dead meat!"

"Y-You did it!" Hot Pots hoped it was finally over.

"No..." You had noticed chunks of the President had disappeared. "The water! Even with the water that spilled on him he can travel between universes!"

"Being between the water and the floor?" Wamuu felt the now damp spot on the ground, where the President had been a second earlier. "And the cut to the throat did not kill him instantly. He will have plenty of time to find an alternate him to switch out with."

"Wait... you're saying he's still alive?" Hot Pants had gotten her hopes up for nothing. "Where's he going to pop out of?"

"Get away from the walls and curtains! He could come through any opening!" Diego stepped closer to you. "But I think I know an effective way to lure him out. A way to know who he'll try to attack." He settled a hand on your waist and used the other to tilt up your chin. "May I? It's super important for the fight, I promise."

"I dunno." You had your eyes narrowed at Diego. "I'm not sure angering him even more is the best solution."

"But you have to admit, it is kinda fun seeing him so pissed off." Diego stared at you expectantly.

"Fine... Fuck it. Whatever." You grabbed him by the collar and pulled him toward yourself. Diego was taken aback at first, surprised you had accepted. But it certainly didn't stop him from trying to enjoy the moment to its fullest.

Almost immediately Valentine popped out of a drawer, aiming to attack Diego as fast as humanly possible. But Wamuu was faster, his fist bashing in the man's head with one solid blow. Bits of red splattered on the wall.