The Ludicrous Escapade Pt.3

Tastes Like Crap

The three of you got back on the road again shortly after your return from the President's establishment.

"Did everything go okay?" Johnny decided now was as good a time as any to ask.

"I guess so." You held up one hand, showing off the new gloves. "I got what I needed. Next step is just to kill him."

"Did you learn anything more about the corpse parts?" That's what Johnny was more curious about.

"Or about his plans?" Asked Gyro.

"I don't know where exactly he's keeping the corpse pieces, but he doesn't seem to know where exactly the head is located." You shrugged. "And I don't know if this is really relevant to you all, but he apparently wants the corpse to gain everyone else's respect and have people follow his lead. To take the napkin first, as he says."

There was a few moments of silence before Gyro spoke up again, "So, guys, I know this might sound like a ripoff of something else, but I just came up with a gag."

Johnny opened his mouth and then closed it again, deciding he didn't really mind if the Zeppeli wanted to crack a joke.

"The title is 'How I Spend My Week.' I'm going to say the days of the week in Italian, starting from Monday all the way to Sunday. I'm gonna turn stupid on Wednesday, and then make espresso on Thursday. On Friday I'll mix in the sugar, and on Saturday I'll drink it. Sunday is a day of rest." Gyro took in a deep breath. "All right. Here I go."

"Lunedì, Monday!" He started counting out the days on his fingers. "Martedì, Tuesday! Me..." He started pulling at his hair and let his eyes roll back into his head. "What was it again?! I forgot! Ahahahaha!"

You and Johnny exchanged concerned glances with each other.

"What was it? What was it? Ehehehehe!" He held his hair to form a makeshift cup that he could pretend to pour sugar into as tears streamed down his face. "Um, what was it again? Eeeeeehehehe!" He made a stirring motion with his hair. "I completely forgot! Aaaahaha!" Now Gyro pretended to drink it.

Finally, he clasped his hands together and pretended to sleep, having switched immediately from a crazed expression to one of complete calmness. "Domenica, Sunday."

You laughed a little, mostly out of confusion. Although, some of the expressions he had made had been pretty absurd. "That was... something else. That's for sure."

Johnny started jotting the joke down in his notepad, nodding along to what you were saying. "Yeah! It was totally cool. It seemed like a really happy week... like, you started to lose track of time!"

"Right?!" Exclaimed Gyro, glad people seemed to appreciate his comedy. "Once you finish writing it down, we'll start moving again."

"How exactly do you come up with this stuff, Gyro?" You found his style of jokes rather... unique.

"What can I say? I was just born this amazing." Gyro flipped his hair over his shoulder.

"Right..."

...

As you all entered a town a day or two later, Gyro held up a hand to get the rest of you to stop. He hopped off of Valkyrie, dipped his finger into some horse crap on the pavement, and then licked it off his hand. "It's his horse's." Gyro spat it out. "He came here five or six minutes ago."

You watched the Zeppeli in disgust. "Why do you know what Dio's horse's shit tastes like?" You had all been following the Brando's trail to try and retrieve the corpse eye.

Gyro ignored the question and instead looked at the map in his hands. "Looks like he's not about to leave Philadelphia anytime soon. Where is he going? He's nowhere near the course route for the eighth stage. It can't be, that bastard... Do you think he's going to make a deal with the President and hand the eye over?!"